Have you ever been at church and experienced the uncomfortable feeling of not fitting in when it comes to how you encounter Jesus? Does it seem like the tried-and-true formula of experiencing Him doesn’t work for you or that you never fully arrive; are somehow found lacking? You watch everyone nodding in earnest agreement when the sermon urges you to follow the formula of reading the Word daily, for a specific amount of time, in a certain place, in a specific position, saying specific things, and following a proven formula to bring you close to Jesus.

However, your Spirit is not connecting with this, and your attempts at following these rote formulas fall flat. Everyone is nodding and looking sagely about them, confirming that yes, this is how it must be done. The closeness you felt to Him as you worshipped just moments before seeps away, as doubt and failure cloud your thoughts. “Yes,” says Satan, “you don’t fit in the body of Christ; you can’t even follow a simple formula to fill that void. Maybe you don’t belong.” Lies.

Hearing others say what we must do to be a strong Christian can be very crippling in our journey with Jesus. When you love Jesus, seek Him, and find Him, but are told it isn’t enough, unless a formula is followed, it wounds and taints something that should be precious, intimate, and deep. A stench of doubt permeates the very thing Jesus celebrates about us, our uniquely individual personalities. No one is identical, better, more loved, more cherished, or more valuable. We each have a specific purpose, and that is beautiful.

I react, buck, and kick at being boxed into a formula for doing anything in life, especially when journeying with Jesus. I may not always outwardly thrash at the formulas, but in my mind and spirit, I do.

Spiritual disciplines are wonderful, necessary, and amazing things we get to use, as our personalities dictate. Some will pour over His word, intently study, and soak it in; others will worship and dance to connect with Him; some will pray without ceasing; and some share Jesus with strangers, while others sit silently in His presence, soaking Him up. Some of us need nature with our senses fully activated, experiencing Him through sights, sounds, and the wind in our faces. It’s all good. So, go and connect with Him in the way He created you to. Be free and enjoy every second.

Photo credit: Yi Fay