Weakness

The sun hasn’t been up for long. I’m sitting in my favorite spot with my coffee, of course. I am feeling out of sorts and restless this morning. The patio and garden are cool and lovely with early birds and critters stopping in for breakfast. I know there is peace to be found here, but it’s elusive. Things are weighing on my heart and circumstances happening that leave me feeling feeble, chaotic, and uncertain. Those are not feelings I like, nor do I want them hanging around making me feel out of control and incapable.

My mind is trying to process and organize all these things – trying to fix them because I fancy myself a fixer. As I’m sitting, a breeze picks up and tosses some leaves and spent blooms around the garden. I notice that they are at the mercy of the breeze. It isn’t a wild and insane storm; it is simply a breeze that is stronger than the blooms – the blooms are weaker than the breeze. Pondering this, remembered words pop into my mind…my strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Weakness. This isn’t a word most of us want associated with ourselves. However, strength needs weakness.  When we are at the end of ourselves and knowing how to fix and manage the thing, this is when Jesus has room to come in with His power, strength, wisdom, and compassion to protect, fix, and do miraculous things. I don’t believe He views our weaknesses as something to look down on or shake His head at; I believe He views our weaknesses as beautiful opportunities to shower us with His grace, love, and protection and to impart His perfect strength into us and our circumstances. He shows us glimpses of the future as He opens and closes doors, the foreshadowing of eternity and of Himself as we have a front row seat to watch Him do the impossible and comfort and heal us when life doesn’t turn out how we had prayed it would.

It’s good to remember that He is the Master Weaver of our life tapestry. He sees the beginning, middle and end. He sees where our lives will intersect with another’s journey.  Perhaps the unique and specific strengths He has given us will be exactly what is needed to help someone who finds themselves in a place of weakness, where our strength is perfectly matched to their circumstances. 

Weakness doesn’t have to hold a negative connotation. It has much more depth than that. Perhaps it has a richness to it that speaks to humanity needing each other to get through life and to witness acts of kindness and heroics since we are all unique in our strengths. In another’s weakness we get the beautiful opportunity to be His hands, feet, words, and comfort. We also get to be on the receiving end of another’s strength. The tapestry of humanity is a lovely thing  that intersects and strengthens as we witness startling acts of bravery and kindness; a chance to bring hope. There is beauty to be found in weakness.

Strength

I collect coffee mugs. It makes me happy to open my cupboard, view all the mugs with the various pictures, words, and shapes, go with my gut feeling and choose a mug for my morning coffee. Perhaps it seems fanciful, but often the mug I choose directly correlates to my moods or what might be going on in life at the moment.

Over the last few weeks, the ones I’ve chosen reflect a combination of peace, calm, and strength. This morning I chose a simple, white mug with STRENGTH. on the front of it. Something about the quiet, simple words written in all capital letters with that final period at the end, just sang out to me. It isn’t fancy and eye catching. It is quiet yet firm, fierce, and unwavering – STRENGTH.

Strength is defined in so many ways. I find it fascinating the way this word is resonating, settling in, and making itself comfortable through circumstances, through a season of sifting and sorting of relationships, through life changes ebbing and flowing, and my relationship with Jesus.

We often imagine strength as something that needs heft – to be loud and obvious and it is in some ways. Physical strength is something I work on as I want to be strong as I navigate aging and continue doing the outdoorsy things that I love – hiking, camping, gardening. Isaiah 46:4 is such a kind and safe verse, assuring us that even when our physical strength does wane, we will be safe and secure. “I will be your God throughout your lifetime – until your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.”

I am blessed in my current season of life as a military mom to have found courageous women to connect with and befriend. These lovely women get it. They understand how hard, rewarding, pride-filled and terrifying this season is with the unknowns, sudden changes, interrupted plans, loneliness, fears, the times when our soldiers are silent – trusting that “no news is good news”, and believing that God has them in His hands. Witnessing the strength these women display daily gives me hope, happiness, strength, resilience, and a safe place. I am truly grateful for them and their friendship in this season. This is a strength that is silent and often unseen, but incredibly powerful. The Master Weaver knew all along that our paths would intersect at this season in our lives. He knew how much these connections and friendships would mean and the strength we would glean from each other, and this shared experience.

As life ebbs and flows and life seasons come and go, I find there is a quiet yet fierce strength in the letting go, in the setting of boundaries and sometimes in the loss of relationships that you were sure would last a lifetime. This strength is a tough one because it is born from pain, loss, rejection, and heartache. But, if we rest in the assurance that our Creator is acutely aware of every nuance of our lives and is weaving something beautiful from these changes, pain, and the lovely surprises He plants along the way, we will see that He is strengthening and preparing us for the next season.

There is another type of strength I’ve found as my journey with Jesus continues to evolve with the circumstances He’s allowed in my life. I am learning to embrace that I am unique and so are you. I commune and spend time with Him in the specific way He created me to do, and it infuses me with peace, strength, and joy. It may not look the same for you and that’s a wonderful thing.  I have spent too much time putting myself in a religious box that isn’t meant for me and oftentimes feeling a check in my spirit that something is off-kilter – that I’m not being who God designed me to be.

There is a powerful strength in embracing the way you are created to have a personal relationship with Jesus. The feelings of safety, love, purpose, value, and compassion are beautiful and precious things. It isn’t our strength, but His, that will flow, bathe, and restore our tired and frazzled souls – strengthening us for the life path He is waiting for us to walk with Him. I hope we will let go, seek out and enjoy the journey. I think we will be surprised and delighted to see how much strength can be found in unexpected places. Divine whispers are all around just waiting for us to be strong in the silence and the waiting as we discover the beauty in the adventures ahead.