salvation

Unshaken

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“I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.” Psalm 62:1-2 NLT

It’s hard to wait quietly when there are pressing questions that need answers and God seems to be taking His sweet time. When that certain situation, relationship, or issue is taking up more and more space in your mind, and your heart feels like it can’t expand anymore to contain the constant thinking, feeling, and waiting. When self-sufficiency rears its head and invites unbelief and diminishing trust that God’s got this, He’s got them, and He’s got you. The belief that you have to fix it, manage it, and predict the outcome by incessant rehearsing and overthinking. It’s just so hard to wait on Him.

But…

God says that the victory, the answers, the rest, and the fixing come from Him. Just Him. It is hard to wrap our minds around it; that He already knows the outcome, where the bend in the road leads, how that hard conversation is going to end. It’s hard to trust when the wait time seems too long and it feels like we have been forgotten in the mass of humanity calling out to Him non-stop.

I suppose this is where we decide if we truly believe He’s for us, sees us, loves us, and we decide to trust Him with ourselves. We either do or we don’t, right?

He is our safe place. He is our strong tower and our fortress. We will likely feel the wind, the waves, and the uncertainty of living life on this planet. But maybe today, we can try to trust Him, believe Him, and relax our white-knuckled grip on that “one thing” holding us captive to fear and doubt. Maybe we can release it to Him and simply see what happens. Maybe we can do our best to live in the moment and enjoy being in His presence, looking for the good, the joy, the hidden delights, and the victories. Those things are all right there waiting for us to change our perspective from one of striving and self-reliance to humble dependence on the One who created us and envelops us in His peace and protection. Give it a try. You are so loved. Peace be with you.

Living with Hope

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1 Peter 1:6-9 (NLT), “So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while.  These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold – and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him, you trust him; and even now you are happy with a glorious, inexpressible joy. Your reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.”

These are hard words to read during a painful trial that seems to have no end. Sometimes it blindsides us and we reel with feeling overwhelmed, unprepared, and out of control. Maybe this trial was caused by the result of someone else’s choices that we didn’t see coming.  Maybe it stems from our own bad decisions, and we are left stumbling through consequences that we brought to our doorstep. We have all been there at least once and it hurts. It is confusing and frightening. It feels like there is no way out from under the damage. We feel helpless. How desperately we want Jesus to take it all away!

A few things I have learned about trials is this; oftentimes God uses the trial we are walking through to change us. When we are living unchallenged, complacent, comfortable, and self-reliant, He may use a tough situation or circumstance to move us away from destructive patterns and steer us in a new and healthy direction. After a breast cancer diagnosis, my world collapsed in a matter of moments. Everything I thought I knew and understood was destroyed. Nothing made sense. Never had I felt so vulnerable, helpless, and terrified. No one could walk this path for me or take it away and there was no one, but God, who could carry me through this. I had a choice to make at that moment; allow despair and terror to reign in my world, or choose to put it at His feet, extravagantly hope and believe there was a purpose somewhere in this. I chose hope and it was my lifeline. I did not know His plans – would I survive? Through the two years of treatments and surgeries, hope and unexpected blessings, pain, and fear, I discovered that feeling helpless is NOT the same as being helpless. With God we are not helpless. He is always as close as our next breath and never leaves us to face trials alone. He is the source of all hope.

I truly believe He uses our pain and rough seasons to purify and beautify us and our faith, so that one day he will clearly see His image in us. Self-reliance, pride, and self-righteousness have no place amid a life altering trial. It is surprising and beautiful how compassion and empathy are born during difficulty, pain, and loss if we choose to trust ourselves to the One who created us.  He will make a way. We can be confident that God will separate something priceless from the dross of our experiences.

Imagine God’s joy and delight as He skims off the gunk and begins to see HIS image in us; something priceless!  I hope it makes you smile knowing the Creator of galaxies is so invested and in love with each one of us, that He takes all the time necessary to allow us to feel the heat of trials, so that He can one day bring forth, for the world to see, the radiant beauty of our life testimonies. We can be a beacon of hope, salvation, and love to a world full of hurting humans who need to hear a word of hope and see a life redeemed.

A letter from Jesus to you…

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To the one I so dearly love:

Someone I deeply love and adore has made mistakes. Someone I love needs to have faith that despite these mistakes, they are My delight and joy and that I will never leave nor forsake them. Nothing will ever separate us. Nothing and no one. My love and forgiveness are unconditional. I know how hard that is to grasp. Don’t try so hard to understand it in finite ways; don’t try to put Me in a neat and tidy box; just trust Me. I am more than what is seen, heard and explainable, but I am a safe place to rest and find peace. Place all fear, worry and troubles at the foot of My Cross and then leave them there. I am in control. I know how this all ends.

Someone I love knows in their heart that they have strayed far away from Me; taken a path I never intended for them to walk. Those consequences are hard and it hurts. Someone I love is feeling broken and ashamed. I long for this dear one to remember that there is no condemnation for those whom I hold in My hands.  Trust Me when I say that I  have come to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds. My arms are wide open; just turn towards Me and come. The heart knows the way; I’m calling My lost one home.

Someone I love needs to focus on Me and believe that I will walk with them through this difficult journey they are facing; through these circumstances that have blindsided them; hit them hard out of nowhere.  I am right here. My arms are strong and My feet are steady. I will carry My precious one when they need Me. I will hold them in My hands; I will catch every tear.

Someone I love needs to remember that I am their Healer, their Redeemer and their Salvation; that through Me, their sins are washed as white as snow.  I see them as lovely and graceful; of great value and worth, because I died for them. I keep no record of wrongs. I am so very proud to call you Mine!

Someone I love needs to be reminded that My love endures forever, through the good times and the bad. Someone I love needs to know that I am here, and I am listening. I see every joy and pain, every failure and every victory.

Someone I love needs to believe that everything will work out according to My will, and that if they trust in Me, I can use what was meant for evil, for good. Scars are evidence of my Healing. Scars are beautiful in My sight.  I delight in restoration!

Someone I love needs to be reminded that I have plans for them; plans to prosper them and not harm them; plans to give them hope and a shining future. Be at peace. I am in control. All is well. It will be okay. Talk to Me. A heavenly bear hug is waiting!

All My love and peace to you- your best friend,

Jesus

 

 

Communion with Heaven (Psalm 91)

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“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare of the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God and I am trusting in Him.” (1)

I’m searching for it. Shelter.  Protection and rest seem elusive. There is too much noise, so much confusion. This landscape is so dry, hot and barren and I am weary. I found shelter, rest and protection once upon a time.  Somehow, bit by bit and small step by small step, I came out from the places of safety. Oh, it was very subtle, my wandering; slow and insouciant; without the purposeful intent of distancing myself and going too far, but nonetheless I left my safe haven.  It felt a little exhilarating to be out on my own, managing things well and keeping things orderly and controlled. I have learned so much!  Venturing out a bit from under the shady covering seemed fine, good, well deserved. I felt stronger and Your strength lifted me up and gave me confidence.” I am stronger”, I said. ‘There are things I can do on my own.” “Watch yourself do it, watch yourself succeed and use that new strength,” Self Reliance said, soft as a whisper. “You know you can, I know you can and so does He”, Ego breathed. “Trust yourself,” Pride hissed in my ear, “you know yourself best, after all.”  Well, only a little way out from the shelter should be fine, I won’t be gone long….

A little way out turned out to be quite a journey. There were so many cheerful, encouraging voices urging me on, out into the unknown.  “Go on!” they shouted, “look at you, you’re free, you’re doing this on your own, bringing all your knowledge and understanding.  Now it’s time to use it, show what you’re made of!” “You are needed out there!” Yes, yes I am needed and I have so much to offer, how could I not use it?”  I begin to notice that things are not so easy anymore; control is not coming so willingly and my knowledge and understanding are not adequate. My strength isn’t enough and I am weary, thirsty, afraid. Anxiety and worry are like leaches that I cannot shake off, that dog me exhaustingly, and relentlessly until there seems to be no way out from under the heavy weight I am carrying on my back.  I grow weaker and weaker under the pressure of it all. The once friendly, encouraging voices have changed their tune. Instead of cheers and words of praise for my strength and knowledge, I hear mocking laughter so full of malice it is unbearable. The chaos that surrounds me sucks all peace and beauty from where I find myself. I am in a wasteland of my own making and I cannot save myself. I am sure You must have abandoned me, left me to my own devices. Weariness overtakes  me and I have nothing left. I am undone. Lowering my face to the dirty and sandy ground, I feel something soft, light, lovely and gentle cushioning my cheek. I begin to cry, asking You to come and rescue me.  You come.  I sense a presence more glorious and breathtaking than anything I have ever known, come over me. The shade, the shadow, the shelter; it is here. You are here. Looking up, I see You. At your feet are angels, against whose wings I am resting my cheek. You are the most powerful, wild and terrible, yet beautiful vision I have ever seen! You stand above me with Your wings spread out over, above and all around me; my refuge and my fortress. Your eyes are closed and I hear the song again! The song that You sang over me before, when Your mercy and love rescued me. Your eyes hold mine and the deepest feelings of acceptance and worth pool and flow around and over my heart, my soul, my entire being. Bathed in Your mercy, washed in Your love. Shelter. Rest. Refuge. Safety.  I lie at Your feet feeling light, free and at peace. I am wanted. Your angels lift me up and I sit at Your feet, looking back over the places I’ve been. I notice my wayward path. I can see where stones, traps and snares were shoved away. Small pieces of feathery white, show brightly against some of the larger rocks, where they were snagged as a way was made for me. “He orders His angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you with their hands to keep you from striking your foot on a stone.”(2) I was protected, even along the path that I was not meant to walk.

“Watch daughter,” You say. Subtly, the air begins to stir, gently at first and then stronger and more violently. The atmosphere sizzles and snaps and I am frozen to my spot under Your wings.  There is a commotion, a rupture of sorts and it throws me to my knees. Fire, wind and lightening begin spewing and shooting all around as I watch with my eyes, the destruction that comes. It is terrifying. Something huge is shifting and rending the ground I am standing on; like a break, a rupture, a bringing down of giants. Strongholds. You are breaking them. It is chaos and destruction and storms, but I am untouched. The wind and air are warm. There is enormous power at work here, beyond anything I have ever witnessed. Suddenly, I am lifted up off of my knees and something slams into my body; it is supernatural; terrifyingly beautiful. A bright light explodes in my chest and eyes and I feel so incredibly hot that I am numb. I can’t breathe, but that force is breathing for me. I turn my face up to the sky and open my mouth and sing. I sing with such force and strength that I can feel my chest and throat thrumming from it. As I watch the sky, my voice becomes a huge beam of white-blue light that points straight up to the clouds, parts them and points into Heaven. The sound of my singing is so beautiful.  I have never heard anything like it. There are no words that I can understand, but the sounds are beyond description.  As I sing and sing, other voices join me that are even more beautiful and haunting than my own, but blend beautifully, perfectly. The deep is calling to deep and I am part of it. I see it, feel it, hear it and know it. It is almost too much to take. A communion with Heaven. Then it fades and is gone.  I am left completely spent, lying face down, trying to process in my finite mind what I was just blessed to witness. Sounds of peace and singing, scents of beauty brush over me, soothing, healing, filling the redeemed places with validation of Your love for me, Your desire to make me whole, Your desire for me. Simply me. I am wanted, not needed, and that realization brings a tender joy that I accept and hold tightly. I can trust you with me. Gingerly raising myself up from the ground, I immediately notice that I am no longer in a wasteland.  I am on ground that is alive with hope, joy, and new life. Strongholds were broken this day. This fresh, new ground was watered with my tears and my cry to my Father that I love, to rescue me, to bring me back to His shelter. You did. I have found rest.

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty…because He loves me,” says the Lord, I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.” (3)

(1)    Psalm 91: 1-2

(2)    Psalm 91: 11-12

(3)    Psalm 91: 1, 14-16