revelation

The Candle

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

Photo credit: Tijana Drndarski

Olivia wakes to the sound of rain pattering against the windows and sluicing off the eaves. It’s one of her favorite sounds. Soothing, repetitive, calming.

Slowly stretching her sleepy muscles, she pulls the warm quilt up under her chin. It feels chilly in her room. The weight of the quilt feels like a comfy cocoon wrapping her up in warmth and safety.

The clock on the bedside table reads 3:33 am.

Her cats, Goose and Mr. White, raise fluffy, sleep-mussed heads from the end of her bed, wondering what is disturbing the nightly routine.

Lying quietly, listening to the autumn rain, Olivia notices the wind picking up. The bamboo wind chimes hanging on the patio cover sing out their woody song as they are buffeted by the random gusts.

No longer sleepy, she decides a nice cup of herbal tea will be just right on this stormy night.

Cats in tow, Olivia slips on the soft, worn slippers she keeps next to the bed, grabs her robe, and heads to the kitchen.

The woodstove in the corner of the family room gives off a faint, warm glow, as the embers continue to spark and snap. The kettle sings! Hot tea in hand, Olivia settles onto the comfy loveseat next to the stove and nestles in listening to Mother Nature’s autumn storm.

Sleepy cats find their soft blanket tucked into an old Amazon box near the stove. They begin bathing and jostling each other for the best spot in that old box.

As she sits with her tea and listens to the rain stinging against the windows, Olivia’s mind wanders to the difficult conversations and puzzling circumstances that have been hounding her of late. Unfair accusations, misunderstandings, and self-righteous pride have clouded and tainted a long-time friendship. The situation leaves her unsure, wounded, and lonely. Her efforts at reconciliation, having the hard conversations, and trying to understand what went wrong, leave her feeling betrayed and so very tired.

“Father, I need you to take this. It hurts and I don’t understand. Can this be fixed? Will you reveal the next steps?”, she prays.

Watching the glow of the dying fire, the tendrils and flickers of orange and blue-yellow flames dart and snicker around bits of the burned logs.

A strong gust of wind rattles the windows and the front door as the lights flicker, then go out.

Dark envelopes her cozy spot, except for the glowing embers in the woodstove.

Remembering the Redwood Forest scented candle she purchased from the new boutique downtown, Olivia fumbles around in the drawer of the table on the other side of the loveseat and finds the matches.

Lighting the candle, the new flame struggles and sputters a bit, then gets its footing. The flame strengthens and burns softly.

Its warm light is like a halo pushing back the darkness, reaching into the shadows, and exposing what is hidden – highlighting those mindsets and wounds that secrets and hidden agendas seek to keep obscure and under cover. Revelation, healing, and new life are murky and hard to see under the veil of shadows.

Sitting in the glow of the wavering light, Olivia feels the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand up and goosebumps raise along her arms. She’s not alone. She’s not afraid. She feels His divine presence in the air – love, safety, and ancient wisdom flowing around her. He will see to it. He will give her revelation and wisdom. He will bring healing.

“Rest now, I am here”, He says. “All is well. I see what’s in the secret, hidden places. All will be made right. Everything hidden will be revealed.”

In the flickering candlelight and warmth from the cozy woodstove, Olivia feels her mind settle and her eyes flutter. Sleep is waiting. Peace calls to her as her breathing slows. The Holy One sings to her spirit in languages of love, healing, and ancient things. All is well…

“For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light.” Mark 4:22 NLT

Longing

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

It rises up from deep in my soul.  The sensation is difficult to describe, and I need it to have a name.  Somehow that will make it seem safe and predictable, possibly evencontrollable.  It is pressure that builds and needs a release like a cry that can only be satisfied by an answering calm, a gentling of the urgency; a whispered word, saying “Peace, be still child; how very close I am to you.” 

It is birthed in quiet moments of meditation and worship where time ceases to exist, as I have Your undivided attention.  My voice and Your Spirit mix and intertwine in the Heavenlies bringing delight to Your heart and setting into motion things I could never comprehend.  It is so beautiful, yet not safe and certainly not predictable – uncontrollable. This feeling surges up as I fall to my knees in awe of all that You are knowing that the small bit I do know of You is almost more than I can bear.  Knowing there is more, that You are richer and more brilliant than my most vivid dreams frightens me because that too is not safe or predictable and cannot be contained.  No – it is holy, a consuming fire, pure, wild, and more fierce and passionate than I can handle on my own.

It swells up when my fingers finally release their death grip on what I knew all along I could never control yet almost died in trying.  I hear it in the sound of chains falling and walls crumbling as another stronghold tumbles to the ground; the scent of victory overcoming the stench of defeat.  The feeling comes as a wave, a pounding of the heart as Your anointing falls when obedience calls and is answered with, “Yes Lord, here I am.” 

It is there when the howling loneliness shouts for filling and claws in desperation until Your presence is given permission and enfolds and permeates the void.  I sense it when joy unspeakable and peace that passes all understanding snaps like a banner in the wind, high above the circumstances and distractions of life proclaiming that Jehovah Nissi is my covering and victory.

Waiting in Your presence I begin to understand the sensation is a soul-deep desire for You – a needy emptiness that can only be filled by all that You are. It is the craving my spirit knows will only be satisfied when I am forever in Your presence; an obsession keeping me hungry and thirsty for revelation, wisdom, truth, and a startling intimacy found only with You. This isn’t safe or predictable and certainly not controllable but will be with me until I see You face to face.

So, I will let go and embrace the wildness and fierceness of it.  I will welcome it with open arms and a tender heart.  I will name it longing.

Just a morning

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

Sunlight filters in through the blinds; the breeze is cool and refreshing through the slightly open bedroom window.

Shifting from dreamy sleep to wakefulness; content and peace filled. Thank you Lord for waking me up – I’m coming!

Cozy cat stirs and stretches; stomping on body parts still under the covers. Time to get up. He knows the routine well.

Scent of brewing coffee brings homey memories to mind; rich and earthy, there is safety in predictability.

Dogs wait politely, then bound outdoors enjoying freedom after a long, snug night. Noses to the ground on high alert; sniffing out the offending evening invaders; dew drops spot their muzzles; glinting as the sun peeks through tree tops.

Sounds of the morning!

Wind chimes sing softly and gently as the breeze tosses itself about; birds up since dawn cling to the feeders, calling and scolding and jostling for position. Bright reds and yellows, muted greys and black.

The gentle light of early morning gives way to something  stronger; fortifying, brighter, life giving.

Coffee and the Bible sit on the pine table; steam swirls and pages flutter; beckoning and calling.

My heart stirs. There are mysteries to unravel here; richness to take in and understanding waiting to be sought and known. Revelation, peace and contentment are what I seek; warmth, depth and life.

Who knows what will come as the day unfolds? Joy? Laughter? Tears? Fear? For now, I sit at my Daddy’s feet, listening to Him speak with all my senses; sipping the warm richness of my coffee. It’s just a morning; but it is my joy.