protection

Shafts of Light

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

The Gifts wait with anticipation in the incense-filled room. The voices of the beloved rise and fall in a constant blend of timbres and tones, each voice precious, seen and so very loved. The Gifts love to watch the Creator as He gently lifts and listens to each request, praise, cry for help. Sometimes there are no human words, but utterances of the Spirit as deep calls out to deep. These are the voices of His precious ones. Each one cherished. As He lifts each voice and holds it carefully in His hands, He sings and prophesies over it. The Gifts thrum with excitement as they await His command. With a nod of His head, Peace is sent forth. Descending from the heavenlies, Peace makes a way through the swirling turbulence of humanity to the dear one asking her Father to please blanket her in His peace. Gently surrounding, above and below and on all sides, Peace wraps up the precious one and whispers the words to her spirit that it was sent forth to proclaim. She feels the soft warmth begin to soothe and soften her fearful heart.  It is supernatural, this sending forth, as Peace simultaneously, yet personally, ministers to thousands of souls at once – the Father’s voice and love flowing down and through and within each of His children. Mystery.

Next to descend on a golden shaft of light is Joy. With excitement, Joy finds the man who calls out for relief. He is stuck in the never-ending spiral of his daily grind. He wants to feel alive again, so Joy dashes in with bursts of lightness, humor and the beauty of hidden blessings revealed.

At times, the sounds of the rising voices make the Father smile. The Gifts love to see how attentive He is to each and every soul. No one goes unnoticed. No one is lost in the crowd of millions. Each and every voice is completely unique, designed with forethought and purpose; none better than the other, all equal and perfectly loved. There are also times that He weeps with those who mourn. The tears that His beloved cry are never wasted, not one single tear drop. He knows the origin and reason for each one. He meticulously collects them and safely places them in lovely crystal jars that have an eternal purpose and plan. They will not be wasted.  

The next Gifts sent forth are Protection and Healing. These two often travel together. They descend on a powerful beam of light piercing evil and darkness. These Gifts find the ones ensnared and tangled in chains, fear and illness. The Father infuses these gifts with His authority, power and love. Chains break, strongholds crumble, illnesses flee and darkness bows. Gentleness and abounding Mercy follow Protection and Healing, as hearts, souls and bodies are healed, restored and led into His Light.

Discernment and Wisdom respond to His command and travel on gentle shafts of light seeking those who are lost and alone, overwhelmed by choices and clamoring world-voices. These Gifts infuse the overwhelmed soul with calm, direction and clarity straight from the Father’s heart. The webs and twisty-looking paths that shroud the way forward are made clear, as the debris and obstacles of self-reliance are rolled away. Trust accompanies Discernment and Wisdom, as those coming out of the shadows need Trust to clearly hear and follow His voice.

Patiently waiting, Rest is summoned and joyfully descends on a beam of light infused with lovely colors. Rest flows like a sparkling creek and carefully washes away the busyness and exhaustion that covers so many of the beloved. The weariness of fixing, controlling, worrying and rehearsing piles on and sticks to His loved ones like a balm of good works that has gone rancid. In the beginning, the balm feels soothing and necessary, but as rest, peace and joy are sacrificed by the doing and the helping, the balm becomes suffocating and immobilizing. How beautiful it is to see the caked-on debris slough off in the stream of living water that beckons the weary one to rest in green pastures. Victory.

From His omnipresent vantage point, the Creator watches and is pleased as His love-gifts, in radiant light, descend continuously and purposefully to His beloved. He intimately knows where each and every shaft of light is going and declares that these Gifts will not return to Him void but will accomplish all that He desires and declares.

A High Rock

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Wrapped up in her crimson scarf, dark green beanie and brown combat boots, Jasmine makes her way to the dirt road that winds past her home. Tendrils of black hair wisp and flutter around her cheeks and forehead as she walks.

The air is bracing and chilly, but the hot coffee with cream warms her hands through the lidded cup.

The crunching of her boots along the dirt packed road is such a satisfying sound, purposeful with meaning and direction. The rhythmic sound is comforting and familiar and she’s been craving that feeling.

This year has been one of many changes – some welcome and some not, some expected and some blindsiding. The feeling of having no control over her life and the lives of her loved ones weighs so heavily on her raw and tender heart. There seems to be no balance to any of it and she cannot fix, re-route and smooth it over. The helplessness of it all piles up and up and leaves her feeling overwhelmed and so very tired. With every step she visualizes pounding the troubles deep into the dusty country road, imagining the puffs of dirt and tiny pebbles left in her wake floating away on the breeze and disappearing, but they don’t. The troubles just settle onto a different spot in her journey.

As she makes her way along the road Jasmine feels the peace and tranquility of the countryside begin to work its magic. Her tight shoulders and neck release, just a bit, her mind focusing on what’s around her. Birds chatter in the copse of trees just up ahead, down and around the slight bend in the road. There is a bit of marshy land to the right filled with tiny bugs and tasty treats for the morning hunters. It’s a joyful and happy noise these birds and creatures make as they faithfully trust in the Creator to supply their needs. All they need to do is watch, listen and seek out what He has given.

Passing under the branches of the old, gnarled oaks, Jasmine feels the slight change in temperature as the morning sun is temporarily blocked and chill air brushes her exposed neck and face. This is how her heart has been feeling – as if a shadow has fallen over her spirit drowning out the light and warmth, leaving her chilled, shivery and exposed. In this shadowy place she’s lost her perspective. Everything seems obscure and vague with too many unknowns. It isn’t fixable and the way is so hard to see.

On the other side of the oak trees a small trail branches to the right from the main dirt road. As she passes under the trees she feels, almost hears, in the tufted and swaying grasses, an audible sigh beckoning her to veer off and take the path. “Why not?” she whispers.

Curiosity mounting, Jasmine makes her way along the trail. She has traversed this old country lane many times and doesn’t remember this obscure path that’s barely visible through the wildflowers and grasses.  Up ahead it curves off to the left around a cluster of small trees. Once past the trees the path drops down snaking off through the countryside. At the point where the path begins its descent, she sees a cluster of large rocks to the right jutting out like a shelf. There are fragrant flowering bushes around the rock cluster that give it a tucked in feeling. Safe and protected. Fascinated, Jasmine climbs up and sits on the rock shelf. She lets herself breathe in the cool air and feel the warmth of the late autumn sun penetrate her exposed skin. Warmth and protection begin working their way into that shadowy, frozen place in her heart.  It’s such a lovely, cozy, feeling of safety. She hasn’t realized just how frantic and overwhelmed she’s been and how she has missed feeling safe and peaceful.  

Looking at the rock she’s sitting on, she notices bits of dried leaves and finished flower petals from the nearby bushes. They spin and shimmy along in the breeze like random spinners, until they float off the edge of the rock shelf following the breeze on the journey laid out for them. The freedom in these floating petals makes her smile. Oh, to feel so light, so free, so joyful…

The breeze picks up, dancing and whispering through the wildflowers around her rock. She feels a gentle peace descend on her shoulders and thread through her hair. Tears of release that she has so fiercely guarded and held at bay, freely fall and flow down her face, splashing the rock like drops from her heart. Each tear holds the name of one she holds dear, of one she loves and desperately wants to protect, wrap up tight and keep from all harm and violence. But she’s tired, her heart can’t contain all the striving, soldiering on and fixing…it’s beyond what she can do. It rips and pulls at her spirit.

As the cleansing flood of tears subside, Jasmine notices that in the warm, life-giving light of the sun, her tears soak up and evaporate. A hush falls around the rock and a Voice she recognizes speaks into her soul. “I have them now. Their names are engraved on the palms of My hands, as is yours. Their burdens are not yours to carry. I have them and they are safe. I gathered up your tears in a bottle where My breath and My will have transformed them into droplets of peace, joy and beauty. You are safe and hidden in My sanctuary. I have placed you upon a high rock where you will find rest for your world-weary soul. I am a shield about you, you are never alone.”

Her parched spirit soaks up these whispered words and softens. Her troubled, fearful, frantic thoughts slow and dissolve; blown away by the flighty breeze tousling her hair. As she sits on this high rock, safe and tucked away, her heart and soul open up and she has room to breathe. In the place where fear, anxiety and a desperate need to control once dwelled, now courage, bravery and deep joy begin blossoming. Her captured tears have been transformed into fragrant, life-giving water that cleanses and renews all that was lost and broken. She will find beauty again. She is confident of this.

As the autumn sun makes it lazy descent, Jasmine is ready to head back. She isn’t the same person who started out this morning. Her feet feel light and confident as she follows the path back to the main road. The warmth of the setting sun on her back feels so safe, like the protective hand of a Father who is ever vigilant and watchful, who has all things under His control. She really can rest now. “…My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”1

  1. Exodus 33:14

He is Near

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 1 Kings 19:11-12

This scripture in 1 Kings caught my attention this morning. If you are like me, you have spent time in your quest for Jesus looking for Him in the histrionic thrill and chaos of heavy emotions and adrenaline rushes at large events that were wild and maybe kind of crazy. I’ve sought Him there. I’ve done that.

Looking back I’m not convinced I found Jesus there. I’m speaking from my own experiences here. What I found was a frantic and human collective fear of missing Jesus. A desperate need to strive, do it right, be louder and better, and work hard enough to capture the Lord’s attention, to be seen. His attention. Doesn’t He tell us over and over that we already have it? Why the exhausting striving, competing and wild, chaotic seeking?

“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.” Jeremiah 29:13

How often are we on that mountain top, in His presence, but completely miss Him because we are hyper- focused on the next thrill, emotional high, or event – the louder and wilder the better? We don’t recognize Him in the gentleness of a whisper, the puff of breeze that tosses flowers and musses our hair or the beauty and silence of a forested path.

Do we believe He cannot hear or notice us if we are not louder and more demonstrative than the next person? I wonder…

I’ve discovered that He absolutely can be found anywhere and everywhere and nothing limits or holds Him back. Can He be found in a raging storm? Yes, He can. Can He be found in corporate worship? Absolutely!

However, I believe that He is most often found in unobtrusive moments where the chaos of the world and humanity is quieted in our spirits. When our eyes and ears truly see and feel His presence blanketing us as gentleness, kindness, attention, and sovereignty. Where His love, healing, hope, and protection flows soothingly over, around, and about us as He listens attentively to our softest utterance, with or without words. Answering our whispered need with a deeply compassionate whisper that we recognize in the rustling of leaves, sighing of a breeze, a spectacular sunrise or perhaps in the mystery of deep calling to deep as He speaks to and cares for our souls.

Divine whispers have brought more healing to my wounded soul, body, and heart than I can count. All of the “holy chaos” I sought did nothing to mend, soothe, heal, and restore my broken places. The whispers of the One who sees me, knows me, and deeply loves me is what I seek…what is sought will be found. Peace and hope are right here waiting for you and for me.  Look for Him gently, listen for His whispers.

Distractions

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

This has been on my mind, and I wonder if it resonates with you.

There is only one of us and it is wise to protect, care for and nurture ourselves. We have permission to say no, yes, maybe later or I don’t know. Those are good and valid responses. Long-winded, safely worded justifications for our need to care for ourselves are unnecessary.

When I travel, it resonates with me each time the flight attendant demonstrates the importance of putting the oxygen mask on us first, before attempting to assist someone else. This is exactly it. We need to breathe, function, and allow our physical body and brain to have that essential oxygen, or we won’t make it, and neither will anyone else we attempt to assist. Our minds and souls need the same care and concern – don’t they need to breathe? The process of our physical bodies and souls breathing may operate differently but both are essential. Our souls need time and space to reboot, reconnect, and take up some space – to simply rest. That looks different for each of us. Maybe you reboot in nature and fresh air where you can daydream. Perhaps you need a comfy chair, a favorite drink, and a good book to transport you to another time. Or maybe you like to putter and fuss around your house, garden, or cute boutique and just be.

As we move in close to what we are created to do and begin doing it, unexpected distractions, unresolved issues, and time hogs often rise up vying for our attention, attempting to drown out the whisper of the One leading you toward the good.

 Breakthroughs and divine exchanges happen as we move toward our purpose. The Creator removes situations and people as He reworks and rebuilds our souls and bodies as the passion placed in our hearts is ignited and the flames fed. The distractions are there to take away from the difference you will make in the sphere you are placed in, causing doubt, confusion, unhealthy thought patterns and exhaustion.

It’s ok to still yourself for a minute, five or thirty-five and just be. Ask the Whisper to speak louder, move in closer, and wrap you up a bit tighter. He filters out the distractions through the shield of His presence, protection, the authority of His voice and command of His gaze. The One who created you can silence and still ALL storms and remove obstacles that attempt to redirect and defeat. He offers carefully planned opportunities to rest allowing Him to breathe into us the air, peace and healing we need to continue our journey. I hope we all find that place of rest, welcome it in and invite it to stay for as long as needed.

Angels

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Have you seen an angel or had an experience that’s left you full of wonder, mystery and so profoundly moved that you know you’ve encountered one? I would love to hear about it!

I absolutely believe angels exist. I believe we encounter them and their divine presence, as they carry out their God-ordained work among us, more often than we realize. We can miss these carefully orchestrated encounters because we are not actively looking for God’s presence, work and movement in our lives. The awe inspiring encounters that we do see and witness, are often minimized to chance and circumstances aligning and planets and serendipity. We are a busy, self-reliant and proud species, we humans. Admitting that Someone greater than ourselves keeps a close and constant watch over our every move, breath and encounter is hard to swallow, when pride slithers in and whispers that we don’t need anyone or anything. We’ve got this all under control. The idea that God already knows and has breathed into existence every single thing that we will encounter, in every moment of our lives is almost too much to bear. It is much easier to be fanciful and think that WE have actually done, seen, figured it all out.

Psalm 91:11 and 12 – “For He will order His angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.”

What might an angel encounter look like, feel like, be like? It won’t always be phenomenal, historical, widely broadcast and visible to multitudes of witnesses. It won’t always be a cast of heavenly hosts singing and welcoming the Savior into the world. But it is still divine, miraculous and history making for the one encountering an angel sent by God.

Maybe it looks like an accident that absolutely SHOULD have happened, but somehow, miraculously did not? Or it could be an encounter with a stranger that is so precise, needed, timely and perfect that there really isn’t another option, except for an angel encounter or a God-move that uses a common human to fulfill a divine plan. Perhaps someone shows up at exactly the right time, provides aid and kindness and completely disappears before a word of thanks can be offered; no one else saw or encountered that person, but you and it’s truly beyond explanation; but it isn’t, is it? God commands His angels to be all around and about us every single place we go. No, they are not God and are not to be worshipped, but they are commanded by God. They are about His business in our lives. That brings me comfort, despite the fact that bad things do still happen. Not every sad, tragic, frightening thing is kept from us and that is beyond what I can explain. But, God knows and He sees and He filtering, constantly, everything that touches us.

Several years ago, my son and I were driving on I-5 toward Redding, CA. All was fine and low-key until it wasn’t. A car passing us suddenly lost it’s entire drivers side wheel. It shot straight in front of our car, bounced and flew backwards, heading directly for our windshield. We were in the fast lane, 70 mph +/- with a guardrail to the right and the swerving car with the missing wheel to left. In slow motion, I watched in terror as that wheel was shooting straight at us. At the absolute last moment, it veered completely opposite it’s trajectory path, physically impossible, as if something with an incredible amount of force pushed it, and the wheel hit the guard rail and totally stopped, no injuries to anyone. My son and I would surely have been killed or gravely injured that day, had angels not intervened and brought that spinning tire under God’s control. The divine among us.

Another time, a casual walk in the park suddenly became a very frightening encounter with a stranger intent on harming me. The man and the danger were circumvented and not permitted, as I felt Jesus telling me exactly what to do and say and physically felt His command and His angels’ presence blocking the man and event that was meant for evil. These are but two of the angel encounters, big and small, that I have experienced in my lifetime. Some encounters were meant just for me that spoke volumes and changed everything. Luke 4:10 – “For it is written: He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully; “

I have had angels and their role in our lives on my mind, since Advent, Bible verses and Christmas carols, all speaking to the presence of angels and the encounters with humans over the centuries. It hasn’t stopped, you know; these angel and Christ encounters. I believe they are happening all over the world, all the time, in the mundane and trivial; the frightening, life threatening and the funny; the lovely and the tragic; the victory and the joy. A smile, a kind word and actions from strangers and the opportunities we are given to entertain angels, as we carry out Jesus’ love for others. Hebrews 13:2 “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.”

Eyes open, hearts receptive, ears listening. The divine is all around you.

Everything

~ Extravagant Hope ~ 2 Comments

This song by Lifehouse (lyrics below) has been running through my head for a couple of days. I find this song profoundly beautiful and deeply moving; almost to the point that I cannot explain it with words. When I listen to it, goosebumps rise up all over my skin and my spirit awakens and rises up; tears prick my eyes and my heart beats stronger and faster. This is a song I can put on repeat. The lyrics resonate with me so deeply, because I have experienced these emotions and responses to Jesus described in this amazing song. I desire to hear Him speak and long for His words; it is a deep need in my soul and when I do hear Him, peace fills me up; I rest and have the strength to keep walking and trusting Him.

There are several specific times in my life that I look back on and know, like I know, like I know, that it was ONLY Jesus that kept me going each day; only His presence, only Him holding me in His hands and letting me rest that literally kept me afloat. There were times that I didn’t know it was Him carrying me through the storm, until it was over, and frankly, wasn’t sure I wanted anything to do with Him.  Nevertheless, He saw through the pain and fear, right into my hurting heart and gently lifted me anyway. I’m His girl and He wasn’t letting go.

During my years of battling an aggressive form of breast cancer, He was the only hope I had to cling to and He never once failed me. Never once. The weeks and months that I don’t remember, because of a haze of medications used to keep me from the sickness of treatments, He was there and held me in His hands. I have scars, yes, but I’m proud of them. It reminds me of where I was and where He brought me. Survivor. Overcomer. Victorious.

During other dark times, He was the light that led me to a place of healing, peace and safety. Fully protected; never out of His sight. Thoughts of Him do take my breath away! He has stolen my heart and I’m not ashamed to say so.

Life has things in store for me and those I love that will be hard, painful and seem very unfair. I know this. However, I also know that Jesus has walked this suffering before me, He knows, He understands, He heals and He restores. He brings joy and peace into situations where there shouldn’t be any.

He is all I want, all I need. He is everything.

Everything

By Lifehouse

Find me here, and speak to me

I want to feel you, I need to hear you

You are the light that’s leading me to the place

Where I find peace again

You are the strength that keeps me walking

You are the hope that keeps me trusting

You are the life to my soul

You are my purpose

You’re everything

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms and you give me rest

You hold me in your hands

You won’t let me fall

You steal my heart and you take my breath away

Would you take me in, take me deeper now

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you’re all I want, you’re all I need, you’re everything, everything…

Revealing Truths in Exodus

~ Extravagant Hope ~ 3 Comments

I’m reading through the Bible in a year. I’ve done it before and each time have found fascinating nuggets of truth, revelation and delight that I never noticed in my previous readings. I am in Exodus now. I know this part like the back of my hand, or so I thought. Today, the Lord opened my eyes to some beautiful, yet hard hitting truths about myself, about Him and maybe about you, too.

Beginning in Exodus 13:3, Moses tells the Israelites to remember this day that they left Egypt forever; the place of their cruel and unbearable slavery. Moses reminds them that this is the day the Lord brought them out of their bondage with His mighty hand. His. Not their mighty hands and strength in numbers, but His. There is no place for self-reliance and self-congratulation here. The Lord heard their cries, their groaning and weeping and He rescued them because He is all mighty, a Warrior and because He loved them and He chose them as His own. Their bondage and the cruelty inflicted upon them by their earthly masters reached the heart of Almighty God and He responded with amazing power, might and compassion for the Israelites. He answered their cries.

In Exodus 13:17, God does not lead His people toward the Promised Land by the easy, straightforward route taking them through Philistine territory, because He knew them. He knew they would be terrified, turn around and head back to Egypt, because it was familiar there. Despite the horrible oppression they suffered, they knew what to do there. This applies to us, too. He knows our fears and weaknesses. Sometimes, when He seems to leads us in odd, circuitous routes to get to our Promised Land, have we ever stopped to think that because He knows us so well and loves us so much that He leads us around a mountain that might just be too big and cause too much pain? That we are not ready for yet? That touched me and explains some paths that I’ve had to take that seemed to make no sense.  I love how He speaks through His Word. It never returns void.

Verses 21 and 22 say “The Lord went ahead of them. He guided them during the day with a pillar of cloud, and he provided light at night with a pillar of fire. This allowed them to travel by day or by night. And the Lord did not remove the pillar of cloud or pillar of fire from its place in front of the people.”  What a lovely reminder that we are never alone. He is our constant companion. He knows where we are going. That feels peaceful to me. Safe.

The people panicked when they saw the Egyptians had followed them. They cried. They were terrified. They had already forgotten the way the Lord had brought them out of Egypt. They forgot that He guided them and lead them with pillars of cloud and fire. I love how Moses tells them in Exodus 14:13, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” This verse means a lot to me, because there was a time when a trial, a wound, seemed too deep and too hard to overcome. It was blindsiding and overwhelming. I remember asking God to show me something, to please tell me what to do. I found this verse immediately. I did what it said. I stood still and I watched Him rescue me from something that I didn’t understand. He fought for me, because He loves me. What are you facing that seems impossible? Do you trust God to fight for you? Can you wrap your mind about what that really means? God, the Almighty, the Prince of Peace, Creator, the King of ALL Kings wants to fight for you! He is telling you to just stay calm and watch Him. The Lord is our rear guard. He goes before us and leads us, but in times of battle, He is behind us, just like Exodus 14:19-20 shows us. “Then the angel of God, who had been leading the people of Israel, moved to the rear of the camp. The pillar of cloud also moved from the front and stood behind them. The cloud settled between the Egyptians and Israelite camps.” He leads us out of harm’s way, and then moves behind us to hem us in and guard us from what He just delivered us from. Protection. Safety.

The first half of Exodus 15 is a beautiful song of praise, acknowledgement and love to the Lord for His protection, guidance and compassion; recognizing that He is an unmatched and mighty Warrior who stops at nothing to defend and redeem His chosen ones. I am His chosen one. You are His chosen one. Do we dance, sing and worship out loud when He delivers and rescues us, sharing with others when our prayers and cries are heard? Are we like Miriam and the women of Israel who danced and sang this song to Him; “Sing to the Lord, for He has triumphed gloriously; He has hurled both horse and rider into the sea.” (v. 20, 21). This hit home. Am I raw and open and lavish with my praise and honor to Him for all He has done and is doing in my life? Do I give Him praise and thank Him for all the “horses and riders” in my life that He has hurled into the sea and battles He has won for me? Do you? Will you?

There is one last part from this first half of Exodus that causes me to examine myself. Exodus 16:4 “The Lord said to Moses, Look, I’m going to rain down food from Heaven for you. Each day the people can go out and pick up as much food as they need for that day. I will test them in this to see whether or not they will follow my instructions.” I read this over a few times and it blessed my heart. I believe He still does this for us today. God rains down food from Heaven, for us, every day. He gives enough for each day. Just enough. It might come in the form of physical provisions; such as food, shelter, water and clothing. It might come in the form of health and relationships. Maybe He gives me enough skill, ability and talent to get through whatever the day will bring me, because He already knows what that will be. He knows what I’m going to need and provides just enough. That spoke to me in a big way. Am I grateful, daily for what He is doing? Do I actively look to see what He is providing and how I need to use it? Do I spend time with Him saying thank you? Do I remember what He has done and what He has provided with a grateful heart or am I selfish and greedy like a giant gobbling mouth, demanding more, more, more and complaining relentlessly that what my Father has rained down from Heaven, for me, is not good enough? What do you do with the daily, loving provision your Father has given you? Food for thought….

Communion with Heaven (Psalm 91)

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“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare of the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God and I am trusting in Him.” (1)

I’m searching for it. Shelter.  Protection and rest seem elusive. There is too much noise, so much confusion. This landscape is so dry, hot and barren and I am weary. I found shelter, rest and protection once upon a time.  Somehow, bit by bit and small step by small step, I came out from the places of safety. Oh, it was very subtle, my wandering; slow and insouciant; without the purposeful intent of distancing myself and going too far, but nonetheless I left my safe haven.  It felt a little exhilarating to be out on my own, managing things well and keeping things orderly and controlled. I have learned so much!  Venturing out a bit from under the shady covering seemed fine, good, well deserved. I felt stronger and Your strength lifted me up and gave me confidence.” I am stronger”, I said. ‘There are things I can do on my own.” “Watch yourself do it, watch yourself succeed and use that new strength,” Self Reliance said, soft as a whisper. “You know you can, I know you can and so does He”, Ego breathed. “Trust yourself,” Pride hissed in my ear, “you know yourself best, after all.”  Well, only a little way out from the shelter should be fine, I won’t be gone long….

A little way out turned out to be quite a journey. There were so many cheerful, encouraging voices urging me on, out into the unknown.  “Go on!” they shouted, “look at you, you’re free, you’re doing this on your own, bringing all your knowledge and understanding.  Now it’s time to use it, show what you’re made of!” “You are needed out there!” Yes, yes I am needed and I have so much to offer, how could I not use it?”  I begin to notice that things are not so easy anymore; control is not coming so willingly and my knowledge and understanding are not adequate. My strength isn’t enough and I am weary, thirsty, afraid. Anxiety and worry are like leaches that I cannot shake off, that dog me exhaustingly, and relentlessly until there seems to be no way out from under the heavy weight I am carrying on my back.  I grow weaker and weaker under the pressure of it all. The once friendly, encouraging voices have changed their tune. Instead of cheers and words of praise for my strength and knowledge, I hear mocking laughter so full of malice it is unbearable. The chaos that surrounds me sucks all peace and beauty from where I find myself. I am in a wasteland of my own making and I cannot save myself. I am sure You must have abandoned me, left me to my own devices. Weariness overtakes  me and I have nothing left. I am undone. Lowering my face to the dirty and sandy ground, I feel something soft, light, lovely and gentle cushioning my cheek. I begin to cry, asking You to come and rescue me.  You come.  I sense a presence more glorious and breathtaking than anything I have ever known, come over me. The shade, the shadow, the shelter; it is here. You are here. Looking up, I see You. At your feet are angels, against whose wings I am resting my cheek. You are the most powerful, wild and terrible, yet beautiful vision I have ever seen! You stand above me with Your wings spread out over, above and all around me; my refuge and my fortress. Your eyes are closed and I hear the song again! The song that You sang over me before, when Your mercy and love rescued me. Your eyes hold mine and the deepest feelings of acceptance and worth pool and flow around and over my heart, my soul, my entire being. Bathed in Your mercy, washed in Your love. Shelter. Rest. Refuge. Safety.  I lie at Your feet feeling light, free and at peace. I am wanted. Your angels lift me up and I sit at Your feet, looking back over the places I’ve been. I notice my wayward path. I can see where stones, traps and snares were shoved away. Small pieces of feathery white, show brightly against some of the larger rocks, where they were snagged as a way was made for me. “He orders His angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you with their hands to keep you from striking your foot on a stone.”(2) I was protected, even along the path that I was not meant to walk.

“Watch daughter,” You say. Subtly, the air begins to stir, gently at first and then stronger and more violently. The atmosphere sizzles and snaps and I am frozen to my spot under Your wings.  There is a commotion, a rupture of sorts and it throws me to my knees. Fire, wind and lightening begin spewing and shooting all around as I watch with my eyes, the destruction that comes. It is terrifying. Something huge is shifting and rending the ground I am standing on; like a break, a rupture, a bringing down of giants. Strongholds. You are breaking them. It is chaos and destruction and storms, but I am untouched. The wind and air are warm. There is enormous power at work here, beyond anything I have ever witnessed. Suddenly, I am lifted up off of my knees and something slams into my body; it is supernatural; terrifyingly beautiful. A bright light explodes in my chest and eyes and I feel so incredibly hot that I am numb. I can’t breathe, but that force is breathing for me. I turn my face up to the sky and open my mouth and sing. I sing with such force and strength that I can feel my chest and throat thrumming from it. As I watch the sky, my voice becomes a huge beam of white-blue light that points straight up to the clouds, parts them and points into Heaven. The sound of my singing is so beautiful.  I have never heard anything like it. There are no words that I can understand, but the sounds are beyond description.  As I sing and sing, other voices join me that are even more beautiful and haunting than my own, but blend beautifully, perfectly. The deep is calling to deep and I am part of it. I see it, feel it, hear it and know it. It is almost too much to take. A communion with Heaven. Then it fades and is gone.  I am left completely spent, lying face down, trying to process in my finite mind what I was just blessed to witness. Sounds of peace and singing, scents of beauty brush over me, soothing, healing, filling the redeemed places with validation of Your love for me, Your desire to make me whole, Your desire for me. Simply me. I am wanted, not needed, and that realization brings a tender joy that I accept and hold tightly. I can trust you with me. Gingerly raising myself up from the ground, I immediately notice that I am no longer in a wasteland.  I am on ground that is alive with hope, joy, and new life. Strongholds were broken this day. This fresh, new ground was watered with my tears and my cry to my Father that I love, to rescue me, to bring me back to His shelter. You did. I have found rest.

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty…because He loves me,” says the Lord, I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.” (3)

(1)    Psalm 91: 1-2

(2)    Psalm 91: 11-12

(3)    Psalm 91: 1, 14-16