healing

Backroads and Quiet Places

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

Maybe it’s something we do as we grow older or perhaps it’s just me. In this second half of my life there’s an urgency, not full of panic and fear, but an urgency I feel thrumming in my mind, spirit, and body to fine tune, declutter and make a wide-open space for peace.

Those things that once consumed my thoughts, to-do lists, and vacation plans are beginning to fall by the wayside taking a back seat to peace. Vacations full of fast-paced and exciting adventures don’t hold the same attraction they once did. When I honestly name how I want to spend my time my thoughts drift to backroads and quiet places.

Exploring small towns at a slower pace with opportunities to see natural beauty, experience the quiet of a backroad, a hike, a cabin retreat in the forest, a day at a quiet beach, a picnic at the duck pond, sitting around a campfire, or exploring quaint downtown shops at a leisurely pace – this brings me joy and happiness. I want to seek out ways to saturate myself with peace in those backroads and quiet places. To be a “good” tired at the end of a day spent simmering in joy and peace, is what I crave.

In this season of life, I’m working on choosing myself as a priority; choosing who and what stays or goes. I don’t want to make space for unnecessary drama, strife, and people-pleasing. It will always be there demanding attention, and sometimes I will have to give it a bit, however I get to decide how long I will allow, if at all, these unwelcome things to take up time and become unhealthy distractions.

Perhaps the urgency can be described as longing for a gentleness that covers and quiets me soothing wounds and hurts, and loosening memories and frustrations so I can let them go. I hear it in the Whispers of the One who sees every bit of me; the One who knows every thought, intention and understands all the whys, even when I don’t. I want to trust that He has me and will handle those things that want to rob me of peace and a calm spirit. His whisper breaks the chains of lies shouting that boundaries are selfish and ungodly. I’m a priority to Him. I’m wrapped up in heavenly wings, songs, and delight. I can put down those things that steal life, gratitude, and peace. I’m invited to rest in Him as He opens up backroads and quiet places sprinkled and seasoned with His peace.  “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” Psalm 18:19

Hallowed

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To make holy; consecrated.

To me, the word hallowed evokes a mysterious and magical feeling. Visions swirl in my mind of sacred, lovely light, and silence – a sense of something in the atmosphere that crackles with divine prophesy. Holy ground, a place where angels and heavenly beings tread.

In my limited understanding of all things Divine, these images and feelings are evoked by the knowledge that a place deemed hallowed has been consecrated and made holy by the divine presence of God. His actual presence in a place.

Imagine a quiet neighborhood in the early morning hours, still sleepy from a night of peaceful rest. A man and his dog venture out for their morning constitutional. The beauty of the morning, the sleepy quiet of the houses as they walk, and the cool feel of the air on his skin brings a smile to his face and a lightness to his steps. There are some heavy things weighing on him and this lovely morning soothes his spirit and invites conversation with the Creator. As he spills his fears and concerns to his Father, he is enveloped in such peace; peace that shouldn’t be there in light of his circumstances and worry yet it is. The Father soothes, calms, and speaks provision and safety into his tired soul. Hallowed.

There is the woman on her bike, following the paved path through the city on her way to work. The busy street, impatient drivers, and slow-moving pedestrians blur as she frets over the presentation she will be giving to new clients, in a few hours. Is she prepared? Did she remember to hit all the important points? Will what she says make sense? As her mind tosses and panic tries to surface, she lifts up a quick prayer asking for wisdom, clarity, and courage. As she pedals, her thoughts come together more clearly as she is reminded of the hard work she put into this, the success she’s had in the past, and that she is enough and deeply loved. Her worries dim and fade. Excitement replaces fear as her tense shoulders and insides relax. The Lord is with her, she can do this. Hallowed.

A long day of hiking and rafting is complete. Night is falling in the campground. The campfire dances and sparks, giving off a warm, happy glow. As s’more fixings are passed between them, the older couple settles into their camp chairs to relax and unwind before heading to bed.  This is their favorite way to vacation. The peace of the Redwoods falls about them, filling them with a sense of belonging and joy. They find peace in nature. It restores them like nothing else. As they sit listening to the forest wind down for the night, lost in their thoughts, a comforting and mysterious feeling of being wrapped up and carefully tended to fill their souls. They know they are in the presence of the Holy One. Their little campground in the Redwoods is hallowed ground. The Creator is everywhere, whispering peace in the wind sighing through the tree branches, singing provision as His creatures scout and find nourishment in the nooks and crannies of the forest floor, and speaking joy into this journey of life in the snapping and crackling of the campfire. Hallowed ground.

Wherever life takes you today, I believe you will have myriad opportunities to be in the presence of the Divine; to walk, lie, and sit on hallowed ground as the Father whispers and shouts His love, protection, and presence. He is everywhere and Divine appointments are waiting for you.

Distractions

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This has been on my mind, and I wonder if it resonates with you.

There is only one of us and it is wise to protect, care for and nurture ourselves. We have permission to say no, yes, maybe later or I don’t know. Those are good and valid responses. Long-winded, safely worded justifications for our need to care for ourselves are unnecessary.

When I travel, it resonates with me each time the flight attendant demonstrates the importance of putting the oxygen mask on us first, before attempting to assist someone else. This is exactly it. We need to breathe, function, and allow our physical body and brain to have that essential oxygen, or we won’t make it, and neither will anyone else we attempt to assist. Our minds and souls need the same care and concern – don’t they need to breathe? The process of our physical bodies and souls breathing may operate differently but both are essential. Our souls need time and space to reboot, reconnect, and take up some space – to simply rest. That looks different for each of us. Maybe you reboot in nature and fresh air where you can daydream. Perhaps you need a comfy chair, a favorite drink, and a good book to transport you to another time. Or maybe you like to putter and fuss around your house, garden, or cute boutique and just be.

As we move in close to what we are created to do and begin doing it, unexpected distractions, unresolved issues, and time hogs often rise up vying for our attention, attempting to drown out the whisper of the One leading you toward the good.

 Breakthroughs and divine exchanges happen as we move toward our purpose. The Creator removes situations and people as He reworks and rebuilds our souls and bodies as the passion placed in our hearts is ignited and the flames fed. The distractions are there to take away from the difference you will make in the sphere you are placed in, causing doubt, confusion, unhealthy thought patterns and exhaustion.

It’s ok to still yourself for a minute, five or thirty-five and just be. Ask the Whisper to speak louder, move in closer, and wrap you up a bit tighter. He filters out the distractions through the shield of His presence, protection, the authority of His voice and command of His gaze. The One who created you can silence and still ALL storms and remove obstacles that attempt to redirect and defeat. He offers carefully planned opportunities to rest allowing Him to breathe into us the air, peace and healing we need to continue our journey. I hope we all find that place of rest, welcome it in and invite it to stay for as long as needed.

Distractions

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

Lately these thoughts have been on my mind. I wonder if any of it will resonate with you?

There is only one of us and it’s ok to protect, care for and nurture that one of us. We can say no, yes, maybe later or I don’t know and those are all good answers. We have permission to protect and take care of ourselves. Long-winded, carefully thought out, safely worded justifications for our need to care for ourselves are not necessary.

I have been traveling more lately and it resonates with me each time the flight attendant demonstrates the importance of putting the oxygen mask on ourselves first, before attempting to assist someone else. I thought yes, this is exactly it. We need to breathe, function, and allow our physical body and brain to have that essential oxygen, or we won’t make it, and neither will anyone else that we may attempt to assist. Don’t our minds and souls need the same tender care and concern – don’t they need to breathe? The process of our physical bodies and emotional beings breathing may look and operate differently, but both are still essential for our existence. Our souls need time and space to reboot, reconnect, spread out and take up some space – to simply rest. That can look different for each of us. Maybe you need nature and fresh air, where your mind and soul can daydream. Perhaps you need a comfy chair, your favorite drink, and a good book to transport you to another time. Or you may prefer to putter and fuss around your house, garden, or a cute boutique and just be.

As we move in close to what we are created to do and begin to do the thing, there often rises up unexpected distractions, unresolved issues, blasts from the past and time hogs that suddenly vie for our attention truly attempting to drown out the lovely, small whisper of the One who is leading you toward the good. Breakthroughs and divine exchanges happen as we move toward our purpose. The Creator removes situations and people, reworks, and rebuilds our souls and bodies, as the passion placed in our hearts is ignited and the flames fed. The distractions are there to do just that…distract from the difference you will make in the sphere you were carefully placed in, to cause doubt, confusion, unhealthy thought patterns and exhaustion.

It’s ok to still yourself for a minute or 5 or 35 and just be. Ask the Whisper to speak louder, move in a little closer, and wrap you up just a bit tighter, so the distractions and nonsense are filtered out through the shield of His presence, His protection, the authority of His voice and the command of His gaze. The One who created you can silence and still ALL storms and remove all obstacles that attempt to distract, redirect, and defeat. He offers us carefully planned opportunities to rest allowing Him to breathe into us the air, peace and healing we need to continue on our life journey.  I hope we all find that place of rest when we need it and learn to welcome it in and invite it to stay for as long as needed.

The Ember

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It’s always been there, carefully placed as you were sung into existence in the silence and holiness of the Creator’s workplace.

Attention, such detailed, undivided attention given to you as all your lovely parts, pieces and quirks were formed, shaped, and worked into His masterpiece.

Chance, random chaos has no place here.

Cherubim wings flutter and sigh as the ember is plucked from the coals in the Most Holy Place.

Selected with forethought and care, the ember is tucked gently into your soul. His breath fans it into a small but steady flame. Heaven watches as it grows and twists, snugly fitting into the place created for it.

Nothing by accident.

This ember is precious. The Father gently and purposefully tends to it night and day, minute by minute. Divine whispers – deep calls to deep.

A tapestry of life and divine appointments are woven and entwined all around and about you with the sole purpose of fanning this ember with Holy breath – encounters with angels and fellow humans with beautiful burning embers, not unlike your own.

The soul ember is designed with a divine connection to the Father; a constant soul-longing for divine encounters, conversations and simply Him. His presence, His breath, His gaze is always enough and more than enough.

It can dim, this ember of yours, seeming to barely flicker as circumstances and other humans vie for that place in your soul. It can feel lonely and grim.

What fans the ember back into brilliance and strength is time with the Creator, the one whose breath and love prophesied and sang over you and called you from what wasn’t into one fashioned in His image.

You can find Him everywhere. He is among the Redwoods as you breathe in the scent of old growth or along the beach as relentless waves take fear and worry away with each ebb and flow of the tide. He is found in the mundane tasks of living, sipping warm coffee, or laughing with a dear friend.

How close He is to you. Listen and you will hear His whispers and songs. Simply seek Him and wait with expectation. Your soul ember constantly searches for that divine connection with Him. It knows where to find Him for a beautiful rekindling of the flame.

Book # 2 is underway!

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

Hi everyone! I’ve been very busy this past month or so getting book #2 ready for my editor. I finished the manuscript and it is in her hands now for editing! I’m so excited and cannot wait to have it published and out in eBook and paperback on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc.

I have the title – Divine Appointments… it is a companion book to my first book, Divine Encounters…

It has been so much fun getting everything ready for the publishing process. I will keep updating the blog with sneak peeks and info on launch dates.

You can also find and follow me on my FB author page.

FB: @MelissaGiomiauthor

IG: @melissa.giomi

Thanks for joining me on this next journey!

Beginnings

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Happy New Year’s Eve! I wonder how you are doing in these strange, limbo, off kilter in-between days – where the festive fanfare and anticipation of Christmas is fading and a new year of the unknown looms large? Where the once joyful, nostalgia of a decorated mantle, fragrant lit-up tree and Christmas music begins to grate just a touch because it’s lost the excitement and build up of emotions that only the holidays bring us…

It’s a strange and uncomfortable feeling each year. I never quite know what to do with it or what space to give it. What does it want from us and how do we reconcile and allow the deflated feelings of loss, nostalgia, let down and possibly regret co-mingle with the wonder, anticipation, and adventure of a brand-new year?

I am not one for making new year’s resolutions. I have new things I want to explore in this new season of life as an empty nester and some habits I’d like to redirect. I have plans for a second book, setting healthy boundaries in my relationships, meeting new people and some volunteering. All good things. There are specific words that over the past few weeks consistently pop into my mind. Change. Flexible. Gentle. Trust.

I am choosing to give these words space and permission to enter into 2023 with me. It isn’t easy. I want to know all the who, what, where, when, why and how. I like to rehearse, plan, and plot it out because that is what I usually do. It’s my M.O. It gives the façade of safety, but if I’m honest, it is based in fear and worry.

These words – change, flexible, gentle, trust – are not words I associate with myself – often quite the opposite. However, this year they fill me with curiosity and a sense of adventure; a sense of awe because I know that Jesus is standing at the threshold of my 2023. His scarred hands reaching for mine asking me to let go of regret, worry, expectations (especially of myself) and control. I’m being asked to trust Him with all that I see coming, all the worst-case scenarios that my mind likes to create, all the what-ifs and futile attempts to fix, control, and protect. He’s asking me to trust Him with myself and my loved ones.

Do I truly believe He has plans to prosper and not to harm, plans for hope and a future that is good, safe, and exactly what is needed? Yes, I do believe that. I want to learn to stop trusting in my own short-sighted understanding and in all ways acknowledge that He will direct my path and my family’s path. Will this be easy and trial free? No, life is hard, and things happen. Will I never allow worry, a stray wild thought, fear, or the need to control overwhelm me and set me back a bit? No. I won’t do this perfectly, but I will try to be gentle with my soul. Will I feel all the feels that go with living in this world and bumping up against others? Yes.

My hope for this year is that when situations and feelings knock at my heart’s door, I will learn to give them space, sit with them, and see them (yell at them, if needed) allowing them to teach me and letting them go into His hands.

I will pray this scripture over myself and my family in 2023 and wait in anticipation to see prayers answered, paths straightened, fear bow at His name, joy restored and peace to have room to heal and calm my heart. And rest, blessed rest.

Isaiah 61:3 NIV

“…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.”

“For 2023, may God help us all fast regrets and cease dragging old, dead things with us into the new, abundant life that Jesus’ birth, death, and resurrection made possible.” Dr. Alicia Britt Chole

December Moon

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The December night is dark and deep, stillness and chill seeping into bones despite the layering of coat, scarf, hat, gloves, and thick soled boots.

Footfall is muffled and shushed along the pine strewn path, boots stirring up the ancient scent of the woods and winter shrouded earth.

The hush of the forest has a particular sound – not truly silent to the careful observer, but full of the rustle, scurry, and purpose of those living in the night. Frigid air gives their purpose a new vigor with warm dens and beds of fern, pine needles and forest detritus waiting to give shelter.

Deep, full inhalations fill lungs to the brim with invigorating, life giving air. Oddly, the heavy chill, though it burns and startles, offers peace and affirmation of knowing one is alive and well. Sometimes it takes the cloak of a dark, wintry, forest-y night to bring clarity to the chaos and exposure of living in the light.

Rounding the curve in the path, the stillness of the pond with the shimmery moon-glow trail on the dark water is breathtaking. A path of light and love painted on the water by the brush strokes of One who loves to bring awe, redemption, and delight. Loved. Seen. Safe.

The sound of stealthy prowling comes from the edge of the pond as a night hunter shifts and waits for dinner. Circle of life.

Moving along as the chill ever deepens, the hooting of an owl adds to the frosty night noises – haunting and lovely it is primitive and wild.

The path around the pond circles back on itself and my boots head back to the cabin. Thoughts of the cheerful fire in the firepit on the deck and the warm sherpa blanket urge me onward at a brisker pace.

Wrapped in the cozy blanket, Irish coffee in the large Christmas mug warms my cold hands; steam rising merrily as the fire mesmerizes.

A scrabbling, crunchy noise interrupts my reveries as a creature moves about to the left of the deck, digging through pine needles and foliage for a midnight snack. Curious glowing eyes spy on me. The shadowy outline of a fat raccoon in the faint reach of the firelight watches me until curiosity wans and she moves along.

Leaning back in the deck chair the stars appear strewn about like so much glitter landing at random points. But nothing is truly random. The night sky is beautifully planned and decorated with patterns and puzzles of light created to lead the ancient traveler.

Frosty breath wafts up as if making its way to the austere moon that guides, watches and travels the night sky. Fascinating to imagine all the eyes that have looked up in the night for navigation and a sense of constancy in a world that doesn’t always appear that way. A balm to lonely souls, the shining beacon of light makes things feel safer and less chaotic.

The shepherds on that holy and silent night looked up into the same chilled, star filled sky that I see on my deck as the fire glows and snickers to itself. The same moon watched on as the Holy One became man, as angelic hosts filled the still and starry night with the most awe-inspiring, stunning display of power and love that humankind has ever known.

It is not by happenstance that eyes are drawn upward – seeking wisdom, direction, meaning; safety, love and blessed peace.

From a cold and silent winter night, filled with moonlight and stars came the Light of the world.  A Divine exchange between Creator and creation. Ultimate gift. Unconditional love. Emmanuel.

Warm bed beckons and I head inside, mind full of awe as I struggle to comprehend the enormity of the gift humanity was given on that night so long ago.

The old wood stove burns quiet, drowsy warmth. I curl up under quilts and comforters as the light of the moon gently glows through the snug window. Thoughts of angels, joy and eternity soothe and calm into restful sleep – a silent and holy night where all is calm and bright under a December moon.

Prayer

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The intersection of the Divine and humanity. Awe inspiring. It’s hard to wrap the mind around this mystery of supernatural communion with the Creator. The One who formed us, named us, called us out from nothing into what is and prophesied over us what will be. Extraordinary, beautiful, mysterious.

It is the God-breathed breath in our lungs transforming into words whispered, shouted, sobbed, laughed and somehow ascending, floating, soaring up, up into the very presence of the One who formed the stars and called the Earth into being.  Into the Holy of Holies, in the presence of angels and cherubim our words, thought and spoken, know exactly where to go as they search out the ear and heart of the Father. Our words and every thought know they will be found when they seek His attention. A magnetism that draws our need, praise and sometimes our fury and rage, straight to Him. Undivided attention in the midst of billions of voices. How is that possible?

Yet it is. The meticulous attention, time, and precision with which we were each formed allows us direct access to the One who knows us best. Nothing is hidden from Him. The raw vulnerability of that exposure is terrifying and unsettling, yet I find safety and rest here. No disguise, mask or self-righteous posturing happens in His presence. Flowery words and Christianese have no place in honest, raw, desperate conversations with the One who knows our every breath and move; the One who has our names engraved on the palms of His scarred hands.

There are times when the wounds and need are so raw and deep that no adequate words exist to speak it out, yet the Spirit knows – the pain, the rage, the gnawing, indescribable need that cries for release. He is right there in the middle of it, interceding “for us with groans too deep for words.” (Romans 8:26). Love. Comfort. Safety.

At times the joy, victory and delight are too overwhelming to express and His Spirit births in us a deep, healing laughter and tears that could never be expressed with mere words. How He loves us, how intimately He knows us. How He delights in supernatural conversation with us!

It isn’t hard talking to Him. Open your mouth, your mind and allow your spirit to connect with Him.  You are never less than or too much. You are enough. You are just right. He does hear you. Jesus wants to heal you, offer you hope, peace, joy, and strength to get through all that life tosses out. He’s a best Friend, Father, Healer, Comforter, Warrior, the Prince of Peace, and you have His complete and undivided attention. So, grab your favorite mug, fill it with something soothing, lovely, and warm and have a chat with your Father…with or without words.

Lessons from Cancer and Life…

~ Extravagant Hope ~ 2 Comments

Lessons from Cancer and Life

In November 2010, I was diagnosed with an aggressive, fast-moving breast cancer and immediately began an exhausting and terrifying set of surgeries and treatments ending in April 2012. Our lives were upended, exposed, and thrust into a trajectory of the unknown for over 2 years. That experience taught me so much and I will never forget. So many lessons learned – about myself, the resilience of the human body, the primal urge to survive and that in my frailty and weakness I am made strong in my Creator.

On April 26, 2012, at 2:15 pm, I was told, “You are cancer free!”

As this anniversary date approaches every year many things run through my mind. The random memories of the cancer center and the “one of a kind, not found anywhere else” smell of it, the taste of peppermint candies I sucked on in an attempt to mask the horrible taste of saline and chemo, the ice chips I held in my mouth to keep painful ulcers from forming (I cannot stand ice in my drinks or mouth to this day), the blanket I brought to keep warm during treatments and comfy pink slipper socks. I still hear the sound of radiation equipment being dialed into place with strange and other-worldly whirs, clicks and bleeps. It was a lonely feeling in the brightly lit, freezing radiation room as the technicians went behind thick layers of protective safety walls and I lay there exposed, cold, and numb willing the machine noises to stop; hoping I wouldn’t burn.

There are good and treasured memories of my faithful husband going with me to every treatment, while through the IVs and tubes, the meds flowed in or when a dear friend sat with me and prayed and chatted during a long treatment. The distraction of good company meant so much to me even though it was hard and uncomfortable for them.

Ahh, then there are the beautiful memories of my little 2nd grade boy asking me to hop on his bed as he tucked me in with blankets and got out his books to read to me. Blessed. Loved. Precious. This sweet boy is now a brave, courageous young man in the United States Army – respectful, strong, and absolutely determined with a kind and compassionate heart.

It meant the world to me when my sweet 6th grade girl would tell me about her day with the ups and downs of middle school, feeling so blessed she shared with me and praying so hard I would have years and years ahead of me to listen to her talk. She’s almost 24 now and out living her life – a beautiful, compassionate, strong, and amazing young woman with a kind and generous heart. God answered that prayer for more time with my family.

Through all the living I’ve done, I discovered I am physically strong. My body fought with everything it had to beat this invader named breast cancer. It endured extreme treatments, pain, panic, nausea, steroids, exhaustion, and hair loss but never stopped fighting. God gave me strength to make it through one more day, one more test, and one more treatment. He did it. He is absolutely faithful. His eyes never left me, and His tears mixed with my own as I was wrapped in His arms crying out my fear, rage, and frustration – wondering if I would die.

I am still learning to view my body through a different filter. I am proud of my scars. They shout out that a battle was waged and won. I am determined to be strong and healthy, so do what I love – hiking, biking, and all things outdoors.  I need to enjoy every single second of life I am given. So sometimes I choose to eat the dessert and not worry over whether or not I will look great in a swimsuit. I am alive and that is enough. Our days are numbered, and I want to take advantage of each one with those I fiercely love.

Despite days of deep sadness, fear of the unknown, rage, pain, and brain fog, I told myself I would get through this – that cancer would not win. Not this time. God absolutely gave me more than I could handle because we were never meant to walk out this life in our own strength. I chose to believe God would be with me through every test, every treatment, every bit of good and bad news. I held on to that and He proved Himself faithful, merciful, and compassionate. Yes, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. Yes, it put my body, mind, and soul to the ultimate test. I am an overcomer and so are you.

When other trials come along, like trials always do, I remind myself to look back on all that my Healer brought me through.  He infuses me with strength and courage. As a brand-new Army Mom, I feel lost, overwhelmed, and adrift in this new season. I am trying to draw on past fortitude, peace, strength, and flexibility to navigate all this new season of life throws at us. I battled cancer and I won; I can do this new thing because seasons past have given me a warrior heart and soul.  Fear, lack of control, paralyzing worry, loneliness and so much uncertainty is already rearing its head. My family and I are being forced to do life differently now and view it through a different lens.  

Life can be hard, unpredictable, and unfair but if you look closely, you will find nuggets of joy and hidden treasures of beauty in everything. It is there just waiting to be discovered but you must look for it, change your filter from a victim mentality and choose life – choose to seek peace, hope and sweetness in whatever is swirling around you. I promise you it IS there. I remind myself daily, minute by minute, that I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me. You can, too. It is only by His strength, love, and healing and my decision to trust Him with myself that I am here to live another day and breathe another breath. It is His breath in my lungs. He saved my life and changed, and still is, changing my perspective. I am thankful. I have another day to live.

My hope and prayer as I travel out this next chapter in life, is that I leave everyone better than I found them – that encouragement, compassion and hope will trail behind me like a gentle beacon defying the darkness and shining the light of the One who is Light.  

“But I’ll take the hand of those who don’t know the way, who can’t see where they’re going. I’ll be a personal guide to them, directing them through unknown country. I’ll be right there to show them what roads to take, make sure they don’t fall into the ditch. These are the things I’ll be doing for them—sticking with them, not leaving them for a minute.” Isaiah 42:16 MSG

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5 ESV