boundaries

Backroads and Quiet Places

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

Maybe it’s something we do as we grow older or perhaps it’s just me. In this second half of my life there’s an urgency, not full of panic and fear, but an urgency I feel thrumming in my mind, spirit, and body to fine tune, declutter and make a wide-open space for peace.

Those things that once consumed my thoughts, to-do lists, and vacation plans are beginning to fall by the wayside taking a back seat to peace. Vacations full of fast-paced and exciting adventures don’t hold the same attraction they once did. When I honestly name how I want to spend my time my thoughts drift to backroads and quiet places.

Exploring small towns at a slower pace with opportunities to see natural beauty, experience the quiet of a backroad, a hike, a cabin retreat in the forest, a day at a quiet beach, a picnic at the duck pond, sitting around a campfire, or exploring quaint downtown shops at a leisurely pace – this brings me joy and happiness. I want to seek out ways to saturate myself with peace in those backroads and quiet places. To be a “good” tired at the end of a day spent simmering in joy and peace, is what I crave.

In this season of life, I’m working on choosing myself as a priority; choosing who and what stays or goes. I don’t want to make space for unnecessary drama, strife, and people-pleasing. It will always be there demanding attention, and sometimes I will have to give it a bit, however I get to decide how long I will allow, if at all, these unwelcome things to take up time and become unhealthy distractions.

Perhaps the urgency can be described as longing for a gentleness that covers and quiets me soothing wounds and hurts, and loosening memories and frustrations so I can let them go. I hear it in the Whispers of the One who sees every bit of me; the One who knows every thought, intention and understands all the whys, even when I don’t. I want to trust that He has me and will handle those things that want to rob me of peace and a calm spirit. His whisper breaks the chains of lies shouting that boundaries are selfish and ungodly. I’m a priority to Him. I’m wrapped up in heavenly wings, songs, and delight. I can put down those things that steal life, gratitude, and peace. I’m invited to rest in Him as He opens up backroads and quiet places sprinkled and seasoned with His peace.  “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” Psalm 18:19

Expectations

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

At times, the clamor of expectations, people, and agendas become overwhelming. I get overloaded and there seems to be no escape. Have you been there?

Some expectations are of my own making – the voice telling me what I “should” be doing and how I am falling short of that “should”. Then, there are external expectations from a myriad of places – family, friends, jobs, church, and groups we belong to that tell us that in order to be a good and successful member we “must” …whatever the current trend. The pressure is heavy, unrealistic, and definitely not manageable. Burnout lurks and bides its time, knowing that before long something has to give, and it is often me and you.

Expectation is sly in how it approaches me. It doesn’t come bashing, barging and obnoxious…no, that is way too obvious. Slowly, methodically, inch by inch the overwhelm advances. At times it looks flashy, exciting and brings an energy of anticipation, progress, and fitting in. Other times it will gently pop up on my radar as something noble that needs my attention; something worthwhile and necessary. Oh how well expectation knows me and my MO. People pleasing, peace-making, putting others first and myself low on the list because that’s what good, Christian women do, right? Selfless, cheek turning, emptying our cups until there’s literally nothing left, permitting others to continuously take, and making sure to meet their demands. Don’t make a wave or ripple that might disturb another, no boundary setting because that upsets people and throws them off-kilter. It’s my job to make sure everyone’s “kilters” are comfy and cozy, right? Hmmm. I am challenging that. It isn’t easy or second nature to me. It’s a learning process and a change in perspective. There is balance and I’m trying to find it.

As expectation advances and slithers in, things that are important to me and fill my cup, bringing me joy, rest, and contentment tend to wither. With my energy going to these nebulous expectations of others and society, my peace, calm and contentment begin running dry. Things I once enjoyed and needed to recharge, refill, and simply be happy are scarce and hard to find. This is not the heart of my Father. This anxious striving and relentless giving entangle, and snare as my thoughts become anxious and dissatisfied. All the working and planning never seem to be enough.

This is where the One who knows me best begins to whisper in the lovely sunrise greeting me as I’m fixing my coffee – “slow down a bit, savor the warm deliciousness a bit longer.” The Whisper enchants me with bright flowers blooming in my garden – “take a walk among the flowers and loosen your stiff shoulders and neck.” The critters on the patio that delight me with their antics bring a smile to my face. Joy and contentment move to the forefront as emails, texts and advertising strategies are put in their proper place in the grand scheme of my life and the plans You have for me. Scriptures hidden in my heart begin to surface as my face is turned toward You once again, with the reminder to “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you”. 1  

Living out the passions and dreams our Creator put in our hearts does not require us to lose ourselves in the doing. We were not created to constantly strive, fix, and do to the point of burning out and withering our spirits. Our Father delights in our joy, peace, and contentment. He placed that delight in us so we can enjoy sunsets, the beach, a hike in the woods, good coffee, humor, rest, and time to just be with Him, as He speaks out all that our parched spirits crave. We are enough and can rest without guilt seeping in to taint the peace that His presence offers us. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”2

It is good to set healthy boundaries that protect our minds, hearts, and bodies. It is ok to let go of expectations that take away from faith and trusting Him – that rob us of our peace, safety, the passion in our hearts and our purpose. Those expectations are not from Him. “I am leaving you with a gift – peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”3

  1. 1 Peter 5:7
  2. Galatians 5:22-23
  3. John 14:27