beauty

Beauty

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

Middle school. What is the first  word that pops into your mind when you hear the words middle school? Awkward , the fear of being different, of not having a “place”. Much of my thought life in middle school was taken up with concern over where I belonged. Who would talk to me today? Would my friends still be my friends? Was I pretty enough for a certain crowd to speak to me and acknowledge me? Maybe it all boiled down to wondering if I was enough?

As I lead my group of 8th grade girls once a week, I see this painful struggle. The desire to be loved and enough, just as they are; to be liked, sought out, pretty, hip and cool.  This struggle is just as real for young men, as they struggle to find their place in the world. It is  real for all of us.

At our middle school group last week, we talked about beauty; specifically inner beauty. So much is hurled at us about our outward appearance; our size, shape, eye color, hair color, skin tone, you name it; someone, somewhere has decided what is and isn’t ok. W ewant to measure up to what culture has defined as beauty and I think it is terribly flawed and destructive.

Think for a moment about something that is uniquely you. Something that is a different, that might stand out. Is it your laugh, smile, eye or hair color? Do you have a unique sense of style or quirky sense of humor? Do you realize this unique part of you is a gift from God that sets you apart as special? You are His creation. Can you look at your uniqueness and begin to love it?

Read Psalm 139:13-18 and allow it into your mind and receive it in your heart.

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me.”

God took such time and attention to detail to personally create you. Your shape, size, sound of your voice, color of your hair and skin were all planned out as He carefully invested time and poured His breath and love into the person that you are. He is crazy about His design! Ephesians 2:10 says “for we are all God’s masterpiece. He created us anew in Christ Jesus so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”

More important to God, I think, is our inner beauty. I define inner beauty as the characteristics of Jesus; such as, gentleness, kindness, inclusivity, confidence, compassion, mercy, humility, forgiving, full of love and kindness.  These traits have the power to draw people to you, because they see Jesus shining through the vessel of your physical body. We all have a God sized space in our souls that longs to be known, loved and accepted. Only God can fill that void in our lives. The more we look like Jesus on the inside, the more beautiful we become on the outside.

Take a few minutes to think about the traits of inner beauty that you have been gifted. Are you patient and laid back or are you a confident, type A go-getter? Are you kind and merciful? Are you a dreamer or a realist? Are you a leader with a dynamic personality? Are you humble and gentle? Do you have compassion for those less fortunate? Are you an encourager? All these qualities are gifts given to you by a loving God who knows all of your strengths and  weaknesses. He doesn’t look on you with eyes of disappointment, frustration or annoyance. He created all of you and intimately knows your thoughts, struggles, fears; your areas of strength and weakness. In your weakness He is strong and He uses those areas to draw you closer to Him.

If you struggle to see yourself as a lovely, precious, beautiful creation on the inside and outside, I challenge you (this is for me too!) to ask God to be your mirror. Ask Him to reflect back to you, all the beauty and loveliness He sees when He looks at you. When He sees you, His unique and valuable creation, He sees all the potential He placed in you. He sees the time and effort He personally put in to creating you for very specific purposes. There is only one you and you are definitely enough. You are a gift, from our Creator, to the world and I pray you see yourself that way.

What would happen when you look in the mirror this week, if you refused to allow negative thoughts and words any space in your mind? What if you refuted every negative word, thought, or description of yourself that you harbor in your soul, with positive words and thoughts; you could only call out encouragement and goodness, as you protected your heart from caustic and castigating words?  Imagine what God is seeing in you and receive in your heart and soul, that what He sees, He is so incredibly proud of and so in deeply in love with. You are enough.

Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you, His power gives you victory. The Lord will take delight in you, and in His love He will give you new life. He will sing and be joyful over you.”  

Morning at the duck pond

~ Extravagant Hope ~ Leave a comment

 

 

The sun hasn’t been up for long, yet the pond is fully awake.

On a large moss covered rock in one corner of the pond, the cormorant is sunning itself; fully spread wings welcome the warm sun.

Turtles occupy a majority of the warming rocks and gnarled old roots, jutting up from the still water; always watching, always aware; stout legs and webbed feet stretched out to soak in the warmth.

As I wander closer to the pond’s edge, sleepy ducks regard me with curiosity, but they aren’t afraid; others doze on, with heads tucked into cozy, feathery wings.

The proud Canadian geese continue nibbling grassy tidbits and bugs as I stroll on by; a few venture a hiss or two, just to make sure we are on the same page.

The pond is still and quiet; yet it’s not.

Human noises are blessedly absent, but morning greetings and conversations are vivid and noisy; the rhythm of the pond is in full swing!

Cheerful, grounding, natural.  Life lessons can be learned here; the Divine is all around.

Along the grassy edge of the pond, small fish and tadpoles congregate in the warm shallows, as a ray of sun brings heat and light. Life.

My shadow causes a frantic, mass exodus, as they dart in a mass of tiny tails and fins to safer waters; ripples and bubbles marking their escape.

A large, silent turtle, with only the tip of its snout visible, is waiting; slowly submerging in an effortless swim to its breakfast. The ebb and flow of life on the pond.

Along the edge of the pond there is evidence of nests and bedded down reeds; a few delicate egg shell pieces and tufts of feathers and down. Home for a family of ducks; their safe place; warm and tucked away.

Moving along, the insistent chirping of a red-winged blackbird, signals that I am bit too close for comfort to his family home in the tall, fully leafed tree in front of me.

I move gingerly around this part of the pond, as he begins to dive and swoop at me; making it clear that I’m a visitor here. Respect.

Rounding one side of the pond, a mama and her ducklings dart and swim through the glass smooth water; nibbling up tidbits as they happily cluck and chatter to each other. She steers them toward the middle of the pond. Cautious.

The ripples they leave behind swirl and eddy, then disappear as the still water swallows them up. Calm restored.

Random splishes and splashes can be heard, as turtles slip into the water like small submarines; tiny, pointy heads can be seen as they break the surface to keep a sharp eye on the pond bank; scouts that watch and wait.

The green Heron, master fisherman, is tucked up and underneath the mass of reeds, on a thin root poking up through the water. He patiently waits in stillness and silence. He knows food is just below the surface and silently waits for his opportunity.  Patience.

A ripply movement catches my eye and I carefully make my way to the edge of the pond, curiosity brimming. Is it the river otter come back again; fishing and dining on crawdads and little fish?

No, it is a large, orangey, iridescent fish; the tail poking up and rippling the water like a miniature shark’s fin, as it roots in the murky, muddy water under the gnarled old tree, with the beautiful leafy branches.

I am captivated.

I sink to my feet watching it go about its business; gracefully moving and swishing as it searches for a treasure hidden in the murky pond.  Trust.

A sudden cacophony of honking and quacking, breaks apart the loudly peaceful pond, as a goose announces its displeasure; wings and webbed feet flapping and dashing into the pond, causing a few moments of panic and unrest as others follow suit.

Quickly, all is calm and everyone goes about their business, as if nothing has happened. Ritual, rhythm, order restored. Life at the pond.

The bench that is tucked in under the beautiful tree, with weepy branches skimming the water, beckons to me.

Resting here in the shade, I try to blend in quietly, allowing nature to return to its busy activities, and the turtles to relax their ever vigilant and rigid watch.

There is always one who stalks, silently tracking my movements.

As my eyes roam over this place I love, I notice that the trees and flowering plants are always reaching up to the sky, their source of life; branches and tender shoots going up, up.

Even in seasons of autumn and winter, when skies are grey and the sun seems scarce, always their branches seek light and reach upward. They know Who sustains them.

Some of these trees are gnarled and funky, with twists and crimps, bends and burned out, broken up places, yet up; they always point up.

There is a lot to learn out here at the duck pond.

The simplicity of creation looking to the Creator to protect, provide and sustain, as the seasons and cycles of life move ever onward.

My life resembles these tenacious trees, with their broken branches and crooked spots and their seasons of beauty and abundance, fully leafed and lovely.

Seasons come and go, ebb and flow as the divine tapestry of our lives are woven by a Master weaver; intersecting pain and beauty; abundance and lack. Always with arms and face lifted up to the Source of Life.

Roads through the desert

~ Extravagant Hope ~ 1 Comment

Isaiah 43:19 (MSG)

“Forget about what’s happened;
    don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
    It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,
    rivers in the badlands.”

This has always been a favorite verse of mine. I love the themes that jump out at me; hope, adventure, new beginnings; provision.

I have a tendency to go over the past, over think it and analyze it to death. I so easily become consumed with things that happened, things that were said that hurt (either by me or to me), actions and betrayals that I fear will happen again and again and again. This verse tells me to forget about reliving those things; to be alert and present, so that I don’t miss out on the brand new things God wants to do for and through me. He doesn’t say “I’d like to do something new” or “I’m considering it”; no! The Lord says “I am about to do something brand-new!” It is a promise! I can feel the excitement coming through His words when He says, “Don’t you see it? There it is!” The Lord is wild about you and me and loves the plans He has so masterfully created for each of us. It excites Him and brings Him such pleasure to surprise us with His purpose for our lives and to whisper into our spirits, “this is the way, walk in it.”

I don’t want to be so wrapped up in the past or worrying over the future that I completely miss out on what He is doing right now, right this minute. I don’t want to miss the road He is making through my desert; the obstacles He will move and the ruts He will smooth over. There are days when it feels like I can’t find the road; there are too many little off shoots and paths that distract me and keep me going in circles. If I stop, breathe and give myself space and permission to spend time with Him, He reveals that road through the desert and gives me directions on how to get back to it. He helps me over the ruts, around the boulders and through the brambles. He reveals the beauty that is there.

How bleak to miss the rushing river of blessings and revelation that He is creating in the badlands I often roam! How quickly I forget that water is the source of life. Where there is water, there is often beauty, refreshment, fullness of life, peace and provision. Jesus is my river in the badlands of humanity. He is beautiful, my strength, my peace; He refreshes my soul and provides for all I need. He is my source of life and He is enough. How wise I would be if I lived with this mindset every day. So let’s be alert! Let’s watch and wait on the Lord and see what He will do in our deserts and badlands; the beauty He wants to show us in the midst of our journey. May we live in watchful expectation for the new and exciting plans He has for us.

Letting Him Love Me

~ Extravagant Hope ~ 8 Comments

In May of 2009, is when I really began to write down all the things I felt God was talking to me about. I really sensed that He had things to say that He wanted me to write down and share. Except for a small, select group of friends, I did not share my writing with anyone else. It is a very vulnerable place to be when you share deep, personal thoughts and feelings and I was afraid to do it. Honestly, I still am a little afraid to do it, but I will.

This first short writing is something that I experienced with Jesus on an annual women’s retreat that I go to almost every year without fail. It happens in the Northern California Redwoods and is so breathtakingly beautiful, if you have not seen and experienced it yourself, it is hard to describe. I love the smell and sounds of the Redwoods. The peace and power and majesty of nature in this area is really beyond compare and it is a perfect place to experience and connect with God on so many levels. My hope is that as you read this short bit, you will sense and begin to know how much Jesus delights in you and finds you lovely and fabulous and how He loves to just hang out with us, whether we are deep in the Redwoods or going about our busy days. He just digs you!!!

Here you go – enjoy!

I went to retreat in 2009 with a lot of expectations on God.  I wanted to hear His voice and have Him explain and define things for me that I was going through, because this is what He and I have always done and it’s what I wanted Him to do again.

I have my routine down for each retreat.  On Saturday afternoon, I go on a hike by myself to be alone with the Jesus.  This year I planned to do the same thing I always do and go to the same place I always go to pour out my heart, hurt and requests to Him.  Jesus, however, had something very different in store for me.  I reached the general area where I usually sit, but it didn’t feel right, so I kept moving.  The trail was so beautiful and peaceful I didn’t want to stop. Then I happened to spot a little open area off the trail, where I could walk down and sit right above the stream that runs alongside it.  As I climbed down, I knew this was the place and my heart was overflowing with anticipation of meeting with my Daddy…what was He going to say to me, what was He going to reveal and work out and explain?  I got myself comfortable and sat waiting for Him, examining my surroundings.  This place was very isolated and quiet, almost undetectable by anyone walking along the main trail. Interesting, I thought, no one can see me here; I’m hidden.  I kept waiting and asking Him to speak, telling Him that I was listening, ready and all set for Him.  I heard nothing.  So I waited a bit more, sitting and thinking that I was starting to feel very hot.  I was  annoyed that Jesus wasn’t speaking yet, because that was not how we usually do things.  In the next moment, a very subtle, gentle, cool breeze began blowing over me at just the perfect temperature.  I didn’t notice much of a breeze anywhere else, just right here.  Interesting, I thought, it’s like this breeze is just for me.  Then I sensed Him say, “It is just for you, beautiful one, how I love you.”  Speechless.  I had nothing to say.  All my expectations were forgotten.  All my carefully thought out conversations with Him were wrecked and so was I.  All I wanted to do was worship and adore Him and I did. I sang to Him and praised Him. I spoke out all my love and deepest desires for Him and He absolutely received it, lavished it back on me and wrecked me some more.  I asked Him if I was beautiful and graceful to Him, in all my stumbling and trying and falling and I sensed deep within me, that I know like I know, that I am all those things to Him and more. I was overwhelmed.  I never saw myself like that.  In my spirit I knew I had His undivided attention in that quiet, hidden away place by the stream, where no one could see me but Him and it was perfect.

My off key singing delighted Him, my praise and worship pleased Him and my spirit was so full of Him that I never wanted to leave that spot.  I believe that He showed me the power of praise in that secreted away place.  Abandoning myself to love Him and delight in Him, brought me more healing, peace and joy than time spent speaking out my hurt, fears and requests to Him could have done.   Loving Him opened wide my heart to receive His love for me.  I am learning to love Him on a new, higher level and am falling deeper into believing how much He really loves me.  I knew He had something for me at this retreat, and what He taught me, on Saturday afternoon by the stream, was how to let Him love me.  Will you let Him love you?