Weakness

The sun hasn’t been up for long. I’m sitting in my favorite spot with my coffee, of course. I am feeling out of sorts and restless this morning. The patio and garden are cool and lovely with early birds and critters stopping in for breakfast. I know there is peace to be found here, but it’s elusive. Things are weighing on my heart and circumstances happening that leave me feeling feeble, chaotic, and uncertain. Those are not feelings I like, nor do I want them hanging around making me feel out of control and incapable.

My mind is trying to process and organize all these things – trying to fix them because I fancy myself a fixer. As I’m sitting, a breeze picks up and tosses some leaves and spent blooms around the garden. I notice that they are at the mercy of the breeze. It isn’t a wild and insane storm; it is simply a breeze that is stronger than the blooms – the blooms are weaker than the breeze. Pondering this, remembered words pop into my mind…my strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Weakness. This isn’t a word most of us want associated with ourselves. However, strength needs weakness.  When we are at the end of ourselves and knowing how to fix and manage the thing, this is when Jesus has room to come in with His power, strength, wisdom, and compassion to protect, fix, and do miraculous things. I don’t believe He views our weaknesses as something to look down on or shake His head at; I believe He views our weaknesses as beautiful opportunities to shower us with His grace, love, and protection and to impart His perfect strength into us and our circumstances. He shows us glimpses of the future as He opens and closes doors, the foreshadowing of eternity and of Himself as we have a front row seat to watch Him do the impossible and comfort and heal us when life doesn’t turn out how we had prayed it would.

It’s good to remember that He is the Master Weaver of our life tapestry. He sees the beginning, middle and end. He sees where our lives will intersect with another’s journey.  Perhaps the unique and specific strengths He has given us will be exactly what is needed to help someone who finds themselves in a place of weakness, where our strength is perfectly matched to their circumstances. 

Weakness doesn’t have to hold a negative connotation. It has much more depth than that. Perhaps it has a richness to it that speaks to humanity needing each other to get through life and to witness acts of kindness and heroics since we are all unique in our strengths. In another’s weakness we get the beautiful opportunity to be His hands, feet, words, and comfort. We also get to be on the receiving end of another’s strength. The tapestry of humanity is a lovely thing  that intersects and strengthens as we witness startling acts of bravery and kindness; a chance to bring hope. There is beauty to be found in weakness.

Strength

I collect coffee mugs. It makes me happy to open my cupboard, view all the mugs with the various pictures, words, and shapes, go with my gut feeling and choose a mug for my morning coffee. Perhaps it seems fanciful, but often the mug I choose directly correlates to my moods or what might be going on in life at the moment.

Over the last few weeks, the ones I’ve chosen reflect a combination of peace, calm, and strength. This morning I chose a simple, white mug with STRENGTH. on the front of it. Something about the quiet, simple words written in all capital letters with that final period at the end, just sang out to me. It isn’t fancy and eye catching. It is quiet yet firm, fierce, and unwavering – STRENGTH.

Strength is defined in so many ways. I find it fascinating the way this word is resonating, settling in, and making itself comfortable through circumstances, through a season of sifting and sorting of relationships, through life changes ebbing and flowing, and my relationship with Jesus.

We often imagine strength as something that needs heft – to be loud and obvious and it is in some ways. Physical strength is something I work on as I want to be strong as I navigate aging and continue doing the outdoorsy things that I love – hiking, camping, gardening. Isaiah 46:4 is such a kind and safe verse, assuring us that even when our physical strength does wane, we will be safe and secure. “I will be your God throughout your lifetime – until your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.”

I am blessed in my current season of life as a military mom to have found courageous women to connect with and befriend. These lovely women get it. They understand how hard, rewarding, pride-filled and terrifying this season is with the unknowns, sudden changes, interrupted plans, loneliness, fears, the times when our soldiers are silent – trusting that “no news is good news”, and believing that God has them in His hands. Witnessing the strength these women display daily gives me hope, happiness, strength, resilience, and a safe place. I am truly grateful for them and their friendship in this season. This is a strength that is silent and often unseen, but incredibly powerful. The Master Weaver knew all along that our paths would intersect at this season in our lives. He knew how much these connections and friendships would mean and the strength we would glean from each other, and this shared experience.

As life ebbs and flows and life seasons come and go, I find there is a quiet yet fierce strength in the letting go, in the setting of boundaries and sometimes in the loss of relationships that you were sure would last a lifetime. This strength is a tough one because it is born from pain, loss, rejection, and heartache. But, if we rest in the assurance that our Creator is acutely aware of every nuance of our lives and is weaving something beautiful from these changes, pain, and the lovely surprises He plants along the way, we will see that He is strengthening and preparing us for the next season.

There is another type of strength I’ve found as my journey with Jesus continues to evolve with the circumstances He’s allowed in my life. I am learning to embrace that I am unique and so are you. I commune and spend time with Him in the specific way He created me to do, and it infuses me with peace, strength, and joy. It may not look the same for you and that’s a wonderful thing.  I have spent too much time putting myself in a religious box that isn’t meant for me and oftentimes feeling a check in my spirit that something is off-kilter – that I’m not being who God designed me to be.

There is a powerful strength in embracing the way you are created to have a personal relationship with Jesus. The feelings of safety, love, purpose, value, and compassion are beautiful and precious things. It isn’t our strength, but His, that will flow, bathe, and restore our tired and frazzled souls – strengthening us for the life path He is waiting for us to walk with Him. I hope we will let go, seek out and enjoy the journey. I think we will be surprised and delighted to see how much strength can be found in unexpected places. Divine whispers are all around just waiting for us to be strong in the silence and the waiting as we discover the beauty in the adventures ahead.

The Country Chapel

The weathered white wood of the simple spire comes into view as I crest the gentle hill.

The narrow dirt road leading to the country chapel is overgrown with tufts of sturdy grasses and haphazard rocks. It’s rutted and a bit uneven from so many years of weather, shoes and tires making their way to church.

The land around the chapel is wild and untamed. Nature has reclaimed this place and surrounded it with beauty, as if cradling the abandoned chapel in lovely colors and peace, so much peace.  It feels protected and safe. The Creator is here.

Tall, wispy flowers and assorted meadow grasses bend and sway as a light breeze sighs through, bringing movement and faint whisperings of years gone by.

An old pine tree rises up just behind and to the right of the old chapel. The branches are thick and heavy with a few quirky curves to its old trunk. The old tree has seen and heard so much life, death, joy, and sorrow. The tattered remnants of a rope swing sway and shift with the breeze. Visions of ponytails sailing out behind the swinger with shrieks of joy as the swing takes its rider higher and higher! Freedom!

Looking up, I see leaves, sticks and a piece of bright red yarn entwined and fashioned into a sturdy nest settled into the crook of a branch. Humanity may have abandoned this country chapel, but nature still finds shelter and a home here.

Taking a seat on a weathered stone bench under the tree, I imagine these pine branches shading long tables of cold, homemade lemonade, tasty potluck dishes and desserts on a warm Sunday afternoon, as congregants share a meal and life together.  If I listen closely, I hear muted laughter and the sharing of gossip and recipes passed down through the years. Those family recipes will make an appearance at every potluck gathering. Belonging.

Becoming more accustomed to the sounds of silence, I hear bird song and buzzing bugs along with the creak and groan of the old pine settling and shifting with the breeze and old age. A fluffy, grey squirrel spies on me as it chatters and flicks its tail. One could sit here all day letting the imagination and nostalgia go where they will…

I make my way to the offset wooden steps of the chapel that creak and shift under my feet. The wooden door’s paint is peeling, and the bottom has been gnawed and scratched by a creature seeking shelter.

Inside the chapel the hush and silence are palpable. High windows are covered in dust and streaks with a few broken and missing panes, but the light that streams in is lovely and warm – like an invitation to come and rest.

There are ten rows of off-kilter pews on each side of the chapel with a few missing or cracked in places. A tattered red-leather hymnal lies on the edge of one. Some of the pages have been nibbled off and perhaps taken as bedding for a small creature that found safety here.

As I move forward between the rows, I notice one pew has initials carved into the wood, KC was here. Another has a stick horse and flowers etched into it. Lorraine loves James is written in orange pen on the back of one with some little hearts surrounding the words. Life was lived here.

The altar is simple and pure on its raised-up flooring. It appears to be handmade and sturdy. It’s beautiful. Echoes of sermons, wedding vows and funeral memorials whisper and float on the still, dust-moted air. The chapel may be abandoned but it’s holy and alive with memories.

I sit for a bit in the front pew and allow the peace, mystery, and silence of this old chapel to speak and heal. It does. The supernatural is afoot. It can be felt in the slight shiver that pricks the back of the neck and dances along the spine. There is no room for fear here; it’s lovely, divine, and healing. Beautiful.

The light begins to shift as the day moves on and I head to the side door leading out to the left. It’s loose on the rusty hinges and makes a squeaking noise as I push it open and go out.

A lopsided picnic bench sits in the shade of an old, gnarled cherry tree. The legs hidden by the meadow grasses – the keepers of this place.  Sitting in the shade, I take in the weathered boards, streaked windows and lonely cross that sits atop the small spire of this country chapel. I’m struck with the thought that the Father met with his beloved within those walls. He healed, loved, and wept with them. He rejoiced, danced, and comforted them. The sacred holiness of that still permeates and flits within those abandoned walls. But we mustn’t try to contain Him inside physical walls, exclusivity, strict rules, or joyless routine. No! He is found under the gnarled old tree where someone sat pouring out their deepest heart wounds and pain. He heard every word, healed, and exchanged the pain for joy and peace. He did this as the birds sang, wildflowers soothed with their beauty and the breeze took the prayers and cries tossing them up into His ever-open hands to receive, heal and restore. He isn’t tame, safe, or containable. His love is fierce, wild, joy-filled and all consuming. He can be found within the walls of a sweet country chapel, but just as often I find Him in the wild places with dancing wildflowers, leafy trees, creatures, and breathtaking beauty.

My time here is complete. So many lessons learned from the old and abandoned. This country chapel with its divine murmurs and lonely beauty spoke volumes to me as I sat in the memories, nostalgia and quiet. This old chapel and the nature that cradles and shelters it healed, comforted, and spoke to my soul in ways a spoken word never could. Divine whispers float and swirl all around us – may we have the ears to hear it and hearts to discern it.

The Singing Heart

Open space and room to breathe – some isolation really.

It’s calling out and my heart hears it – craving, simmering, and stirring.

A quiet place that will nurture, cradle, and hum the songs of nature, the songs of peace.

A lovely, forest-y, meadow path. Peace.

It takes a moment to shed the world as my feet take those first steps.

Social media vies for my attention hovering in the background. Did that recent post get likes or shares? A snarky comment or minimizing remarks? A book sale?

“Breathe,” whispers the spritely breeze.

“Look,” sing the serene trees.

“Just let it go,” shout the bright meadow flowers.

Squirrels and fussing birds dart and flit about their business. Purpose.

The pine-scent that soothes and calms permeates the slightly chilled air – breathe in and out deeply, and fully. Remember.

The silence of the forest and busyness of the meadow are a beautiful chaotic contrast – thrilling, healing and peaceful all at once. Lovely chaos that is joyful, primal, and ancient. Soothing and safe.

Senses are awakened from the hidden place where society often relegates them down to a murmur, a fleeting glimpse, perhaps a burden.

I belong to the elements where senses are welcomed and sights, sounds, scents, and textures are pure. I could be part meadow fairy or tree sprite…

This coming home lifts my spirits, as the tight-fisted clenching of muscles, mind and identity loosen and fall away.

The healing power of nature, the elements and life in the quiet places is spiritual, miraculous, and mysterious. 

Divine whispers surround, swirl and permeate the soul, spirit, and heart bringing pure delight, unfettered joy, and such hope.

As I drink it in, scraping off the expectations, demands and “shoulds” that cling to my heart, I feel a melody pumping through my veins.

A release and crescendo beating in time to the songs of nature and the quiet places lovingly woven by the Creator.

Healing, belonging and peace flood in to fuel the song, seal in my mind’s eye and heart memory the wonder and serenity of this less traveled road to peace.

My heart singing to the rhythms of Creation.

Backroads and Quiet Places

Maybe it’s something we do as we grow older or perhaps it’s just me. In this second half of my life there’s an urgency, not full of panic and fear, but an urgency I feel thrumming in my mind, spirit, and body to fine tune, declutter and make a wide-open space for peace.

Those things that once consumed my thoughts, to-do lists, and vacation plans are beginning to fall by the wayside taking a back seat to peace. Vacations full of fast-paced and exciting adventures don’t hold the same attraction they once did. When I honestly name how I want to spend my time my thoughts drift to backroads and quiet places.

Exploring small towns at a slower pace with opportunities to see natural beauty, experience the quiet of a backroad, a hike, a cabin retreat in the forest, a day at a quiet beach, a picnic at the duck pond, sitting around a campfire, or exploring quaint downtown shops at a leisurely pace – this brings me joy and happiness. I want to seek out ways to saturate myself with peace in those backroads and quiet places. To be a “good” tired at the end of a day spent simmering in joy and peace, is what I crave.

In this season of life, I’m working on choosing myself as a priority; choosing who and what stays or goes. I don’t want to make space for unnecessary drama, strife, and people-pleasing. It will always be there demanding attention, and sometimes I will have to give it a bit, however I get to decide how long I will allow, if at all, these unwelcome things to take up time and become unhealthy distractions.

Perhaps the urgency can be described as longing for a gentleness that covers and quiets me soothing wounds and hurts, and loosening memories and frustrations so I can let them go. I hear it in the Whispers of the One who sees every bit of me; the One who knows every thought, intention and understands all the whys, even when I don’t. I want to trust that He has me and will handle those things that want to rob me of peace and a calm spirit. His whisper breaks the chains of lies shouting that boundaries are selfish and ungodly. I’m a priority to Him. I’m wrapped up in heavenly wings, songs, and delight. I can put down those things that steal life, gratitude, and peace. I’m invited to rest in Him as He opens up backroads and quiet places sprinkled and seasoned with His peace.  “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” Psalm 18:19

Hallowed

To make holy; consecrated.

To me, the word hallowed evokes a mysterious and magical feeling. Visions swirl in my mind of sacred, lovely light, and silence – a sense of something in the atmosphere that crackles with divine prophesy. Holy ground, a place where angels and heavenly beings tread.

In my limited understanding of all things Divine, these images and feelings are evoked by the knowledge that a place deemed hallowed has been consecrated and made holy by the divine presence of God. His actual presence in a place.

Imagine a quiet neighborhood in the early morning hours, still sleepy from a night of peaceful rest. A man and his dog venture out for their morning constitutional. The beauty of the morning, the sleepy quiet of the houses as they walk, and the cool feel of the air on his skin brings a smile to his face and a lightness to his steps. There are some heavy things weighing on him and this lovely morning soothes his spirit and invites conversation with the Creator. As he spills his fears and concerns to his Father, he is enveloped in such peace; peace that shouldn’t be there in light of his circumstances and worry yet it is. The Father soothes, calms, and speaks provision and safety into his tired soul. Hallowed.

There is the woman on her bike, following the paved path through the city on her way to work. The busy street, impatient drivers, and slow-moving pedestrians blur as she frets over the presentation she will be giving to new clients, in a few hours. Is she prepared? Did she remember to hit all the important points? Will what she says make sense? As her mind tosses and panic tries to surface, she lifts up a quick prayer asking for wisdom, clarity, and courage. As she pedals, her thoughts come together more clearly as she is reminded of the hard work she put into this, the success she’s had in the past, and that she is enough and deeply loved. Her worries dim and fade. Excitement replaces fear as her tense shoulders and insides relax. The Lord is with her, she can do this. Hallowed.

A long day of hiking and rafting is complete. Night is falling in the campground. The campfire dances and sparks, giving off a warm, happy glow. As s’more fixings are passed between them, the older couple settles into their camp chairs to relax and unwind before heading to bed.  This is their favorite way to vacation. The peace of the Redwoods falls about them, filling them with a sense of belonging and joy. They find peace in nature. It restores them like nothing else. As they sit listening to the forest wind down for the night, lost in their thoughts, a comforting and mysterious feeling of being wrapped up and carefully tended to fill their souls. They know they are in the presence of the Holy One. Their little campground in the Redwoods is hallowed ground. The Creator is everywhere, whispering peace in the wind sighing through the tree branches, singing provision as His creatures scout and find nourishment in the nooks and crannies of the forest floor, and speaking joy into this journey of life in the snapping and crackling of the campfire. Hallowed ground.

Wherever life takes you today, I believe you will have myriad opportunities to be in the presence of the Divine; to walk, lie, and sit on hallowed ground as the Father whispers and shouts His love, protection, and presence. He is everywhere and Divine appointments are waiting for you.

The Ember

It’s always been there, carefully placed as you were sung into existence in the silence and holiness of the Creator’s workplace.

Attention, such detailed, undivided attention given to you as all your lovely parts, pieces and quirks were formed, shaped, and worked into His masterpiece.

Chance, random chaos has no place here.

Cherubim wings flutter and sigh as the ember is plucked from the coals in the Most Holy Place.

Selected with forethought and care, the ember is tucked gently into your soul. His breath fans it into a small but steady flame. Heaven watches as it grows and twists, snugly fitting into the place created for it.

Nothing by accident.

This ember is precious. The Father gently and purposefully tends to it night and day, minute by minute. Divine whispers – deep calls to deep.

A tapestry of life and divine appointments are woven and entwined all around and about you with the sole purpose of fanning this ember with Holy breath – encounters with angels and fellow humans with beautiful burning embers, not unlike your own.

The soul ember is designed with a divine connection to the Father; a constant soul-longing for divine encounters, conversations and simply Him. His presence, His breath, His gaze is always enough and more than enough.

It can dim, this ember of yours, seeming to barely flicker as circumstances and other humans vie for that place in your soul. It can feel lonely and grim.

What fans the ember back into brilliance and strength is time with the Creator, the one whose breath and love prophesied and sang over you and called you from what wasn’t into one fashioned in His image.

You can find Him everywhere. He is among the Redwoods as you breathe in the scent of old growth or along the beach as relentless waves take fear and worry away with each ebb and flow of the tide. He is found in the mundane tasks of living, sipping warm coffee, or laughing with a dear friend.

How close He is to you. Listen and you will hear His whispers and songs. Simply seek Him and wait with expectation. Your soul ember constantly searches for that divine connection with Him. It knows where to find Him for a beautiful rekindling of the flame.

Book # 2 is underway!

Hi everyone! I’ve been very busy this past month or so getting book #2 ready for my editor. I finished the manuscript and it is in her hands now for editing! I’m so excited and cannot wait to have it published and out in eBook and paperback on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc.

I have the title – Divine Appointments… it is a companion book to my first book, Divine Encounters…

It has been so much fun getting everything ready for the publishing process. I will keep updating the blog with sneak peeks and info on launch dates.

You can also find and follow me on my FB author page.

FB: @MelissaGiomiauthor

IG: @melissa.giomi

Thanks for joining me on this next journey!

Memories

All is quiet this morning in the forest and meadow surrounding the cabin. A gentle breath of wind shushes through the meadow grasses and whispers through the pine branches.

Pinks and orangey yellow streaks are breaking just above the treetops announcing that the sun is on its way. Nature’s alarm clock. Soon the morning creatures will stir, scout, and begin their breakfast journeys.

Warming pine and that distinctive mountain scent wafts and swirls in the chill morning air, reminding me of long-ago summer mornings at a favorite campground in the mountains. I can see, hear, and smell it all in my mind – the bossy scrub jays shouting and squawking as they flit from tree to tree, cocking an alert black eye at the wooden table in case some of the breakfast fixings tumble off. The smokey scent of the testy, cold campfire that fights to get going again in the morning, reminds me of my dad who would mess with it until it was hot and roaring, so we could toast crescent rolls on a stick over the fire.

My steamy coffee warms my chilled hands, as I sit on the deck overlooking the drowsy meadow. The sun is higher now and beautiful streaks of sunlight boldly push through the tree branches. The rays of light are ethereal and sacred; the Creator at work bringing beauty to the morning. The way the light beams fall on the meadow and through the trees reminds me of times spent hiking – just He and I – where hurts and wounds were poured out in raw honesty as Truth and Healing flooded in to soothe, heal, and mend what was broken. Divine encounters.

Breakfast accompanies me to the deck. The homey scent of pancakes, bacon, and coffee mingling with the scent of pine, sparks a memory of my grandma making breakfast on a Saturday morning. The scent of pine trees was always present and is a treasured undercurrent to my memories of her. How happy and exciting it felt to be in her home, surrounded by woods, good food and the squirrels’ feet pattering across the roof. Safe. Home. Content.

The sun is making its way across the sky, so it’s time for a hike to the lake to see who is stirring and fussing about this morning. Always an adventure!

The strewn pine needles are soft and comfy underfoot. Cracks and twig-snaps along the edges of the trail accompany me as I make my way along the well-worn path.  The rustling and murmurs of the woods is comforting and peaceful. Nature is quiet, but it’s not. Calm and restful, yet busy and purposeful as birds and watchful animals go about their business.

The lake will peek into view around this next bend in the path. The familiarity invites a feeling of nostalgia – wistful happiness with a tinge melancholy that doesn’t want to be overlooked and dismissed – wishing that time would stop so the safety and peace of the memories would live on and on, drowning out the stress, noise and unknown of what’s ahead.

There it is – the lake! Life is in full swing here with ducks and geese gliding along the smooth water, snipping at bugs, and nibbling on grasses along the shore. Their contented chuckles and fussing drift over the water as they chat over their breakfast.

A creature rambling through the reeds searching for a snack makes slippery, muddy sounds along the bank near an ancient tree. A long-abandoned rope swing, frayed, tattered and limp tosses meekly in the light breeze that’s beginning to ruffle the water.

Sitting under the shady branches with the fishy, watery scent of the lake breeze fluffing my hair, I recall the excitement of fishing at another lake in the mountains with my grandpa. The careful choosing of bait, adding the weights and a bright red bobber. Time seemed to slow as the line was cast, reeled, and repeated over the course of a warm summer afternoon – the same breeze with an earthy, fishy lake water scent keeping the worst of the heat at bay. The memory of it makes me smile.

Feeling dozy, I lie back on the blanket I brought and close my eyes for a spell. The earthiness of the lake combined with the close warmth of the afternoon fills my mind with much needed peace and I nap for a bit, letting childhood memories of cloud watching and camping take me away.

Startled awake by the fussy chatter of a grey squirrel in the branches above, I stretch, gather up my things and head back to the cabin. What a beautiful way to spend a lazy afternoon. Looking to the sky, I see the sun beginning to make its descent.

Relaxing on the deck after a quick dinner of grilled chicken and homemade potato salad, I sip a lovely cup of herbal tea as the sun showcases it final burst of color before setting behind the treetops.

The forest and meadow quiet into evening and the first pinprick of stars make their appearance. As the night gentles and cools, I grab an old quilt off the chair. It feels safe to be wrapped up and warm this chilly evening. There are unknowns, mysteries and strange sounds that move around me in the now dark forest, but I don’t feel afraid. Gazing up at the stars, a familiar feeling of being deeply loved washes over me. You created these stars and heavenly bodies, placing them just so in the night sky – giving direction to the weary traveler and bringing light to one who feels lost. When I felt tiny and insignificant in a vast sea of humanity, You reached out to me with lovely bursts of light breaking through the darkness and spoke to my soul of hope, purpose, and safety. You still see me. The lovely carpet of stars in the dark night sky continues to speak of love, peace, and warmth on the quiet deck of a cabin in the woods. Beautiful memories of healing, redemption and above all, hope.

Beginnings

Happy New Year’s Eve! I wonder how you are doing in these strange, limbo, off kilter in-between days – where the festive fanfare and anticipation of Christmas is fading and a new year of the unknown looms large? Where the once joyful, nostalgia of a decorated mantle, fragrant lit-up tree and Christmas music begins to grate just a touch because it’s lost the excitement and build up of emotions that only the holidays bring us…

It’s a strange and uncomfortable feeling each year. I never quite know what to do with it or what space to give it. What does it want from us and how do we reconcile and allow the deflated feelings of loss, nostalgia, let down and possibly regret co-mingle with the wonder, anticipation, and adventure of a brand-new year?

I am not one for making new year’s resolutions. I have new things I want to explore in this new season of life as an empty nester and some habits I’d like to redirect. I have plans for a second book, setting healthy boundaries in my relationships, meeting new people and some volunteering. All good things. There are specific words that over the past few weeks consistently pop into my mind. Change. Flexible. Gentle. Trust.

I am choosing to give these words space and permission to enter into 2023 with me. It isn’t easy. I want to know all the who, what, where, when, why and how. I like to rehearse, plan, and plot it out because that is what I usually do. It’s my M.O. It gives the façade of safety, but if I’m honest, it is based in fear and worry.

These words – change, flexible, gentle, trust – are not words I associate with myself – often quite the opposite. However, this year they fill me with curiosity and a sense of adventure; a sense of awe because I know that Jesus is standing at the threshold of my 2023. His scarred hands reaching for mine asking me to let go of regret, worry, expectations (especially of myself) and control. I’m being asked to trust Him with all that I see coming, all the worst-case scenarios that my mind likes to create, all the what-ifs and futile attempts to fix, control, and protect. He’s asking me to trust Him with myself and my loved ones.

Do I truly believe He has plans to prosper and not to harm, plans for hope and a future that is good, safe, and exactly what is needed? Yes, I do believe that. I want to learn to stop trusting in my own short-sighted understanding and in all ways acknowledge that He will direct my path and my family’s path. Will this be easy and trial free? No, life is hard, and things happen. Will I never allow worry, a stray wild thought, fear, or the need to control overwhelm me and set me back a bit? No. I won’t do this perfectly, but I will try to be gentle with my soul. Will I feel all the feels that go with living in this world and bumping up against others? Yes.

My hope for this year is that when situations and feelings knock at my heart’s door, I will learn to give them space, sit with them, and see them (yell at them, if needed) allowing them to teach me and letting them go into His hands.

I will pray this scripture over myself and my family in 2023 and wait in anticipation to see prayers answered, paths straightened, fear bow at His name, joy restored and peace to have room to heal and calm my heart. And rest, blessed rest.

Isaiah 61:3 NIV

“…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.”

“For 2023, may God help us all fast regrets and cease dragging old, dead things with us into the new, abundant life that Jesus’ birth, death, and resurrection made possible.” Dr. Alicia Britt Chole