Come Away

I’m up early.

A restless, unsettled day, led to a similar night of sleep.

Rest is elusive, thoughts scattered.

Warm, earthy, steamy coffee warms my hands;  my eyes glaze over; mind swirling.

Through the open kitchen window, the morning air carries the faint scent of jasmine and cool earth.

The house is warm, but the fragrant air is inviting and full of promise; electric.

It beckons.

A friendly breeze, a puff of soft air, calls to me from the musical notes of the wind chimes,

“Come out.”

I go out.

My favorite bench is canopied by the looming butterfly bush; it’s purple, fragrant blooms toss and wave; encouraging me to come.

I do.

The cold marble of my bench, as I sit, is in stark contrast to the warmth of my hands around the child-painted coffee cup I carry with me. “I love Mommy” it proudly shouts, from its brightly painted surface. That brings a smile.

Also some tears.

I don’t feel so loveable of late.  Irritable. Tired. Frustrated, not loveable. Chaotic, possibly.

Looking at the flowers in the planter tubs next to my bench, I see chaos; at first.

Upon closer inspection, I notice that the random way in which I planted these lovelies, is actually quite beautiful.  Patterns emerge amidst the seemingly random design.

There is order here in the planter, despite the chaos and it is so lovely! Yes! Yes, it is.

Do goodness and beauty and happiness have to be meticulously ordered, spaced and arranged to be ok and acceptable?  Do I have to understand it?

This revelation makes me smile and breathe deeply. Inhale life.

The rising sun glitters its reflection at me on the feathery water of the stone bird bath. Winking and spunky, I want to laugh with it, at the possibilities of the new day.

I feel my back and shoulders relax; everything isn’t wiry and tense, ready for flight. Calm. Peace.  Is that joy?

Again the breeze; it caresses the back of my neck with cool, kind fingers; barely a whisper against my ear.

What was that?  I close my eyes, try to still my mind and just be.

I hear it now. You are speaking, but no words are spoken.

The peaceful scent of jasmine and butterfly bush blooms tell me all is well.

The stable, steady, ancient scent of dirt reminds me that new life is all around; rebirth is waiting daily for me to acknowledge it.

The breeze whispers that I’m never alone.  You will never leave me. I remember; I know.

I see in the riotous, chaotic colors and placement of the flowers, that You have patterned and woven my life together in a tapestry that may appear to be a random intersection of lines and curves; hills and dales; yet is actually something far more beautiful and ordered and perfected than I can imagine.

You see the entire picture of me and You call it lovely; You call me lovely. I am enough because of You.

You have dried my tears; they are captured in the bottle that holds all of them. In place of frustration, I notice acceptance has taken root. Not a resigned, sighing acceptance, but an acceptance of the unique journey I am on with all of the ups and downs that I know will come.

My place in Your arms as chosen, loved, accepted and redeemed is reconfirmed on my little marble bench. I am enough. I just needed to come away with You for a spell. You remind me I’m Yours and all will be well.

It really is ok to rest…

Mark 6:31 (NIV) Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

When I read this verse this morning, it jumped off the page and invited a deeper look; more than just a cursory glance. On the surface, it seems like a benign verse; one that can be read at face value and left at that. However, after giving this verse some thought, I beg to differ!

Jesus and the disciples had little, if any leisure time during His time of ministry; teaching and healing the people. The crowds never seemed to let up. People were so anxious to be near Jesus, to listen to His revolutionary teaching that set them free, released them from bondage, fear and legalism. They heard that He had the power to physically and spiritually heal them, so they came in droves with their ill and hurting friends and family, with those suffering from demonic harassment and chains, for a chance to see Him, touch Him, be healed by Him.

Jesus and his disciples rarely had  “opportunity for private meditation and prayer, nor of spiritual converse together; nor even so much as to eat a meal’s meat for the refreshment of nature.” (1)

Being fully God and fully man, Jesus knew and felt the physical and mental exhaustion of always being “on” and the deep fatigue of being surrounded by the hurting, needy and lost.  He also knew his disciples needed respite from ministering along side Him. So Jesus retired from His work. He was diligent to remove Himself and the disciples for periods of rest, refreshment and spiritual and physical re-filling, so that they could then return encouraged and strengthened for the next task set before them. He gave Himself and the disciples permission to stop and take a breather; to eat, to get themselves away from noise, hurry and the urgency of humanity knocking at the door of their hearts.

As I thought about this verse, I felt Jesus whispering to me and my worn out heart to “come with Him” by myself “to a quiet place and get some rest.” My days may not be filled with healing the sick and enemy-harassed in my world,  or with traveling roads that are literally dusty and parch the mouth, or teaching on hillsides in the hot sun, but He knows what my days are filled up with: relationships that are chaotic,  full of misunderstandings and unmet expectations; disappointment; dreams long held in my heart, that seem so far from being realized; illnesses and injuries that I cannot control or fix; past regrets that try daily to haunt my peace; friends and family going through heart wrenching trials that physically hurt me as I see the struggle; daily annoyances and offenses that threaten to become bigger than they need to be; and the list goes on. Life on planet Earth and the human condition!

I absolutely love that Jesus gets this! He understands the physical and mental exhaustion of taking care of everyone else around me. The things I take on that are not really mine to take, that I struggle and wrestle with until I have nothing left. He loves me enough to give me permission to get away, rest, get some refreshments for my mind, spirit and body and then, with the full armor of God strapped on me, get back in there and move forward, into all the goodness, abundance, joy and excitement He has planned out; filled up and able to minister to those He places in my path for such a time as this.

Is He calling you to go off with Him for a spell; to rest, refresh and soothe your mind, spirit and body? It really is ok to rest…

(1) John Gill’s Exposition of the Whole Bible

 

Meandering

High in the forested mountain, a burst of water comes bubbling up. Why it started there, in that hidden place is a mystery. Spreading out, it searches for the path it is to follow. There isn’t one readily visible, so with tenacity and confidence it presses forward, looking for that indentation; the hollowed decline in the ground. Success!

Following the downward dip in the ground, the water flows. Sometimes it seems to follow an exact, obvious path that makes perfect sense, then suddenly, a shift; a deviation; a random change of direction as an unexpected obstacle looms up, making the easy downward flow alter its course. It seems haphazard, but it isn’t. The obstacle is there for a reason. The stream does not know why it’s there or how the obstacle came to be in the way, but nonetheless, there it is and it must be navigated.

Success! The resilient water finds the best route around, over or through the offending obstacles and soldiers on to its destination. Where is that place? What will it look like? Will it be a long journey? Will there be any more obstacles or is the path now clear and straightforward?

The downward descent slows for a bit and the stream meanders along with no obvious route to is wanderings. It moves from here to there; around that rock, over that fallen branch; gurgling and swirling as little rocks, sticks and leaves beneath the surface shape its route. The path may be rocky and tricky to navigate, but there is such beauty in the journey, if one can take a bit of time to see it.  The water plays its gently flowing, or at times, powerful rushing music as it dances over, around and through those things that lie in its path. That in itself is lovely.

The stream may stay in this slow, meandering space for a bit; almost as if it is resting for what lies ahead. There is peace and rest here; deep pools reflecting prisms of light as the sun filters through pine-scented branches. Small bugs dart to and fro on their own journeys; busy and focused. Animals may stop by for some refreshment; finding nourishment here and leaving their footprints in the soft, pungent soil; adding to or taking from the stream; the dance of life. Connection.

Eventually the stream picks up speed and the time for calm is over. Heading down the mountain, it rushes head on into boulders, large fallen trees and other forest-y things that would like to block its way. The pull of its final destination forces the water to find a way over, around, through and it does; it always does. It may be wild and gushing and completely chaotic; or slow and methodical; plodding. But it will always reach its destination. The way has been charted out for this stream before the it even existed. I picture my life in this way, too. I relate to the stream and the obstacles it has to overcome, along with the times of rest and meandering, lazy peace. We all have a destination and we will all reach it.

My destination is the eternal arms of Jesus.

 

 

Roads through the desert

Isaiah 43:19 (MSG)

“Forget about what’s happened;
    don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
    It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,
    rivers in the badlands.”

This has always been a favorite verse of mine. I love the themes that jump out at me; hope, adventure, new beginnings; provision.

I have a tendency to go over the past, over think it and analyze it to death. I so easily become consumed with things that happened, things that were said that hurt (either by me or to me), actions and betrayals that I fear will happen again and again and again. This verse tells me to forget about reliving those things; to be alert and present, so that I don’t miss out on the brand new things God wants to do for and through me. He doesn’t say “I’d like to do something new” or “I’m considering it”; no! The Lord says “I am about to do something brand-new!” It is a promise! I can feel the excitement coming through His words when He says, “Don’t you see it? There it is!” The Lord is wild about you and me and loves the plans He has so masterfully created for each of us. It excites Him and brings Him such pleasure to surprise us with His purpose for our lives and to whisper into our spirits, “this is the way, walk in it.”

I don’t want to be so wrapped up in the past or worrying over the future that I completely miss out on what He is doing right now, right this minute. I don’t want to miss the road He is making through my desert; the obstacles He will move and the ruts He will smooth over. There are days when it feels like I can’t find the road; there are too many little off shoots and paths that distract me and keep me going in circles. If I stop, breathe and give myself space and permission to spend time with Him, He reveals that road through the desert and gives me directions on how to get back to it. He helps me over the ruts, around the boulders and through the brambles. He reveals the beauty that is there.

How bleak to miss the rushing river of blessings and revelation that He is creating in the badlands I often roam! How quickly I forget that water is the source of life. Where there is water, there is often beauty, refreshment, fullness of life, peace and provision. Jesus is my river in the badlands of humanity. He is beautiful, my strength, my peace; He refreshes my soul and provides for all I need. He is my source of life and He is enough. How wise I would be if I lived with this mindset every day. So let’s be alert! Let’s watch and wait on the Lord and see what He will do in our deserts and badlands; the beauty He wants to show us in the midst of our journey. May we live in watchful expectation for the new and exciting plans He has for us.

Seashells

When I was at the beach not too long ago, I stopped and sat down on the sand, soaking up the sun. This beach was full of beautiful treasures washed up by the waves. I noticed some interesting looking shells lying near my resting spot, so I started to look at them more closely. I noticed that some were very intricate in shape and color and others were smooth with few rough edges. Some were very simple and sleek with muted colors while others were brighter and more vibrant, with fascinating nooks and crannies. I picked them up, piled them up in front of me in the sand and began imagining how each one became what it was; what its journey through the ocean might have been like, how far it had traveled before finally being spit up on the sand for beach lovers to gasp over and bring home as lovely treasures.

Looking at the force of the waves breaking on the shore, I can see that these shells went through a lot to get where they ended up; some of them whole and intact; while others were broken and a bit beat up, but pretty and interesting all the same. I like to imagine that these shells were uprooted from where they were comfortable and established on the ocean floor. The incessant pull of the tide, other larger sea creatures disrupting them, bothering them, forcing the creatures inside of the shells to move, hide or break just to survive.

Depending on the distance traveled, the severity of the storms weathered and the amount of time the shells were thrown into the rocks and ocean floor, all had a huge impact on how these shells arrived on the beach, what condition they were in when their journey was over. Isn’t this so much like us? When we finally come to Jesus and allow Him to be the center of our lives, our “enough”, don’t we sometimes feel a bit worse for wear? For some of us, the journey was not as arduous as it was for others, so we arrived like clean, shiny shells with just a few rough edges. For others, the journey was long and difficult and we arrived broken and battered, after weathering all that we did. Still others arrived with a vibrancy that captures the attention, with fascinating nooks and crannies coming from life experiences that are begging to be examined and figured out.

The very wonderful thing about these seashells, read us, is that each one is beautiful in its own way. Each one reaches out and speaks to someone different. Each shell, each one of us, with our intricacies, brokenness, vibrancy or calm energy, funky nooks and crannies or smooth edges, is needed to make this world what it is; to speak to and reach other people right where they are in their lives. I can’t imagine walking a beach and seeing only shells that look identical. How boring that would be; how devoid of life and mystery!

I say we embrace our journey and value all those things that made us into the funky, fascinating, funny people that we are! I believe that Jesus looks at each of us and all the ways that our journeys transformed us, gasps in delight and snatches us up as His very precious treasures.

What do you want?

Recently I was watching a video for a Bible study I’m doing on the book of Hosea, by Jennifer Rothschild. In the video, she told us that what we long for most, is what we already have in Christ. I have been mulling this over and swirling it about in my brain for a few weeks now because it is such an eye opening, revolutionary statement. What I long for most I already have in Christ. I already have it. Stop and read those words again. Already have it.  It actually blows my mind. I have been asking myself some thought provoking questions over the last several weeks, such as “what is it that I deeply long for and what is it that I think I don’t have?” I believe the answers go far deeper than the physical wanting of food, water and clothing. This question is begging and pleading with us to go to a soul deep level. You know that place; where putting words to the emotion, the need, the longing is almost impossible; yet it is there, always there, and it is desperate to be heard. I believe this feeling was purposely put there by God to draw us to Him, to keep us continually seeking Him and calling out to Him because we know, on that soul deep, beyond words level, that we need Him desperately. We want beyond anything else to be known.  We may not be able to put words to it, but our souls know Him. Our souls long for Him and everything He provides.

What is it that you long for most and feel like you don’t have? Is it security? Do you feel safe? Is it to be heard and known and seen? Do you feel anonymous in a big, wide world? Do you want to know that you are loved unconditionally and looked upon with eyes that adore every single fiber of your being? Do you want to know that you have a purpose; that you are NOT an accident? Do you crave acceptance? Do you need to know that you have value and worth beyond your wildest imagination, in the eyes of your Daddy? Do you crave order and chaos in a world that is wildly out of order?

You have all of these things in Christ Jesus! You are safe and secure. He commands His angels to protect you wherever you go. Nothing touches you, His masterpiece, without it first being filtered through His scarred hands; hands that were scarred to seal you to Him, to make eternal life with Him possible! He sees you, hears you and knows your every thought, fear, joy, failure and victory. Zephaniah 3:17 tells you that “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” He rejoices over you! You are unconditionally loved, valued and accepted with a specific and unique purpose on your life that only you were created to fulfill. What time, tender care and attention God took, as you were created and the breath of life was breathed into your lungs. It is His breath in your lungs. You have a purpose. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jesus is the Prince of Peace and can bring order, calm and peace to every situation. In the midst of the greatest pain and confusion life throws at you, He is there in the midst of it, offering you His love, His peace and safety. His wisdom is available as is His peace, if you just ask Him. Talk to Him. He is your Daddy and best friend. The true lover of your soul. Think deep about what it is you think you don’t have, what it is you long for most, and then look to Jesus. Ask Him to show you that you have it. You have all that you need because He is more than enough. Peace and blessings, friends.